Hi all Sorry a bit late this week, family issues. Two of the new releases are rather dark, but they're balanced by some comedy and action. There's also a rather good release on the art circuit. There were (whoops) previews all over today for Maya the Bee Movie, in English, Afrikaans and Zulu. There are previews next Thursday evening at selected venues for The Intern. See the previews page and remember to book. M O V I E S 11 September 2015 * The Visit (13 H) * Dark Places (16 LVD) * Vacation (16 L) * The End of the Tour (13 LD) * Hero (Hindi) * The Transporter Refueled (wide) (13 SV) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Added US and UK Top Tens http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 18 September http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the guys) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE; PLEASE DO NOT "GOOGLE" THIS ONE OR CHECK WITH "SNOPES". THEY WILL LIE TO YOU. TRUST ME! In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to The People (HTTP). And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks. And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are.." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE). That is how it all began. And that's the truth. I would not make up this stuff. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- When I was in India recently, I saw a sign that said, 'English speaking taxi driver'. I thought to myself, "What a brilliant idea. Why don't we have them in Canada?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair. He said with excitement, "You appear quite elderly to be driving." "Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough, that I don't even need a driver's license anymore." He asked "How do you know?" "The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him, yes and handed it to him." He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore.' So I thanked him and left! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.' I had no Monet To buy Degas To make the Van Gogh. I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- An American tourist was visiting a small village in Newfoundland. He approached a local person and asked; "What's the quickest way to Marystown?" The local, scratched his head; "Are ya walkin' ER drivin'?" He asked the stranger. "I'm driving." said the stranger. "Well, that's the quickest way." said the Newfie. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------