Hi all What a week. I normally refrain from commenting on current affairs, but what happened this week will likely go down in history as Zuma's Rubicon Moment, and it's all rapidly downhill from here for him. Anyway, back to the movies. This is a very short week, with the new releases opening next Wednesday (because of the holiday), and headlined by the next installment in the the Star Wars saga, which is apparently keenly awaited (world wide...) This weeks seems the lovely kiddie treat The Little Prince, as well as at least two other good movies. One of them has a Golden Globe nom. Next week sees more Golden Globe (and likely Oscar) nominations hit the screens. On the flip side, Victor Frankenstein bombed rather badly on it's USA release two weeks ago. Note that we're seeing The Little Prince way in advance of the USA. No previews this week. If you're around Pretoria on Wednesday, you might want to take some time out to visit the Union Buildings ... This came along: possibly the best magic I've seen in a long time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh9GaDgRWX4 M O V I E S 11 December 2015 * The Gift (13 L) * The Night Before (16 LND) * The Lady in the Van (13 LV) * The Little Prince (PG) * The Little Prince (3D) (PG) * Love the Coopers (PG7-9 L) * Victor Frankenstein (13 VH) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Added US and UK Top Tens http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 16 December. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the gals) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Signs... In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a second-hand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK). ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gravestones.... Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York Born 1903--Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go. On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young. In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767 In a Ribbesford, England cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. In a Ruidoso, New Mexico cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him for not rising. In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. In a Silver City, Nevada cemetery: Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw. A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange. John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune. Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go. On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl replied, in a loud voice "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was deeply embarrassed and moved to another table. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the man's table and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking; I bet you felt embarrassed, right?" The man responded in a loud voice: "R250 FOR ONE NIGHT? .... I`M NOT PAYING THAT MUCH!" All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The man whispered to her: "I study law, and I know how to screw people". ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Recent Blonde inventions.... Glow in the dark sunglasses Solar powered flashlights Submarine screen doors A book on how to read Inflatable dart boards A dictionary index Mechanical Pencil sharpener Powdered water Pedal-powered wheel chairs Waterproof tea bags Watermelon seed sorter Zero proof alcohol Reusable ice cubes See-through toilet tissue Skinless bananas Do-it-yourself road map Turnip ice cream Toe implants An all white flag Rolls Royce pickup truck ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from The Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife. They said, "Is this your wife, sir?" Shocked, I answered, " Yes." They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus." I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------