Hi all The big release (in all formats) this week is X-Men: Apocalypse, with some smaller releases aimed at niche markets. Over in the US, they're expecting Captain America: Civil War to be the first film of the year to hit 1B$ globally, and Zootopia/Zootropolis might follow it in a few weeks ... it's still on the US top ten after 11 weeks, which is something unusual these days. It has however fallen off both the SA and UK top ten lists. Lastly, there are previews next Thursday for Alice Through the Looking Glass at selected NuMetro venues, and a handful for upcoming local romcom Mrs Right Guy at selected Ster-Kinekor venues next Wednesday... see the Previews page and remember to book. M O V I E S Released 20 May 2016 * X-Men: Apocalypse (13 V) * X-Men: Apocalypse (3D) (13 V) * X-Men: Apocalypse (3D)(IMAX) (13 V) * X-Men: Apocalypse (4DX) (13 V) * Before I Wake (13 H) * Sing Street (13 LD) * The Man Who Knew Infinity (10) * Sarbjit (Hindi) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 27 May. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the guys) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ministers... A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation." There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention. The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances." During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up." At that moment, the substitute organist played the National Anthem. And that is how the substitute became the regular organist! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blondes... Two blondes are filling up at a petrol station and the first blonde says to the second, "I bet these awful fuel prices are going to go even higher." The second blonde replies, "Won't affect me, I always put in just R100 worth." One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers." "Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I bought an extra pair of trousers for that suit." "Yes, and it's lucky for you that you did," said Jill, drying her eyes. "I used them to patch the hole." A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbour suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's tail. Our blonde friend was stuck again. The neighbour then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart. The neighbour then suggested that she measure the horses for height. When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------