Hi all Things still a bit hectic but coming under control ;) On circuit this week we kick off with one man's quest to prove his theories about South America correct. Staying Stateside and wild, this week's kiddie release is The Son of Bigfoot, which has not had much exposure overseas. Then we go darker and more adult, with a remake of My Cousin Rachel, and the female-interest pair of Snatched and Below Her Mouth (which is not for the prudish). Lastly we have a rom-com from Bollywood, looking at a question of rural hygeniene... On the previews side, there are a handful of previews next Wednesday for the upcoming action thriller The Hitman's Bodyguard... see the previews page and remember to book. Released 11 August 2017 * The Lost City of Z (13 V) * Snatched (16 LV) * The Son of Bigfoot (PG7-9 LV) * The Son of Bigfoot (3D) (PG7-9 LV) * My Cousin Rachel (13 LSV) * Below Her Mouth (16 LNS) * Toilet: Ek Prem Katha http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, Nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 18 August http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Return on investment.... A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which can't be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the way down to the supermarket don't get p'd and buy another product instead. Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort. The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done to re-start the line. A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very few customer complaints, and they were gaining market share. "That's some money well spent" he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report. It turns out, the number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production use. It should've been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some investigation, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really weren't picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good. Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory, and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed. A few feet before the scale, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin. Oh, that, says one of the workers, one of the guys put it there cause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy, with a very depressed look about him, sits down at the bar and rapidly orders drink after drink. "Is everything okay, pal?", the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasn't talking to me for a month!". Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?" The guys says, "Yeah, but today is the last day." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and really cute, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?! I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits. When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids. Took her out with one punch. My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed. "It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Three old Aussie rednecks were working up on an outback Queensland cell phone tower: Coot Hooter, Hurricane Lamp and Martin Place. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.. As the ambulance takes the body away, Martin says, 'Well, someone should go and tell Coot's wife. Hurricane says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Beer. Martin says, 'Where did you get that beer, Hurricane?' 'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Hurricane replies. 'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?' 'Well, not exactly', Hurricane says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow." She said, 'You must be mistaken.. I'm not a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of beer you are..' Queenslanders are good at that sensitive stuff. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Looking for work ... 1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job. 4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting. 5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme. 6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard. 7. My best job was a Musician,but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy. 8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience. 9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in. 10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income. 11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining. 12. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.. 13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it. 14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind. 15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!