Hi all The four-day Christmas weekend has arrived, and with it the return of Aquaman. Sadly it looks like he won't have much to celebrate at the box office ... reviews have not been stellar, and the Johnny Depp fan club have been taking out their hatred for Amber Heard via this movie, so the going has been tougher than Aquaman's beard. This week's kiddies movie, Migration, has fared much better with the critics and got decent ratings. For under-dog sports fans, we have the soccer-themed Next Goal Wins, about the record-setting American Samoa soccer team. India has two offerings, the comedic drama Dunki about illegal migration, in Hindi, featuring Bollywood favourite Shah Rukh Khan, and the gritty action thriller Salaar, in Telugu and Hindi. Music-wise, André Rieu, Beyoncé, and Taylor Swift are still performing tirelessly at selected venues. No previews this week. Take care on the roads ... saw some scary drivers this morning .... Enjoy. :-) New this week * Migration PG V) * Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (3D) (13 LVP PPS) * Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (13 LVP PPS) * Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (3D IMAX) (13 LVP PPS) * Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (4DX) (13 LVP PPS) * Next Goal Wins (13 LD) * Dunki (16 LVDP) * Salaar * Salaar (Hindi) https://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm Forthcoming attractions https://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the home page poster https://www.moviesite.co.za/ List of all movies showing https://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction https://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm This Week's pinup https://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper) Showtimes https://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Enjoy :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Tell your fortune! Only $40!" she offered, shuffling her tarot deck "No thanks," I said as I passed. "How about today special! $25!" "Nope!" I replied. "Okay, for you, one time only, $20 final offer" "Sorry," I told her, "but I don't negotiate with Tarot-ists." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jack Sparrow: How’s it going guys? Mr. Bean: Good. Mrs. Bean: I’m well. -- Jack and The Beans talk. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- What organization did Pavlov found? The Salivation Army. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guy goes to Doctor and says "I can see everything in the future." Doctor asked "When did this all start?" Guy replies "Next Thursday." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A group of married couples get together for a Christmas dinner. When the last couple arrives, the wife is immediately showing off her present from her husband. "Look at what my Harold bought me!", she exclaims as she holds up her hand with a diamond the size of a baseball on it. All the other wives gather around her oohing and ahhing over her new ring. One of the other husbands whispers to Harold, "I thought she wanted a new car?" "She did", answers Harold. "But I don't know where to buy a fake Mercedes". --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yesterday evening, a fisherman, while going through an alley, heard someone crying for help. Running for the sound, he saw a lady being mugged. Quickly, he jumped at the mugger and grabbed him, but the mugger managed to get away and escape. According to the fisherman's description to the police, the mugger was about three and a half meters tall, and weighed at least five hundred kilograms. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A police officer was on patrol at night and saw two men fighting in the middle of the street. He flashed his police lights, hopped out the car and pulled the two men apart. He cuffed them both and sat them apart from each other on the sidewalk. “Explain what is going on here?” The policeman asked the first man. “Well,” the first man sighed, “It all started a few nights ago when I thought my girlfriend was cheating on me. I came round to her place to surprise her and found her watching a movie with two suspiciously empty pizza boxes next to her. She said she was just hungry, but who the hell orders two large pizzas to themselves?” “A valid point,” the policeman nodded, agreeing. “Anyway,” the first man continued, “I decided to stake out her house. So I’m waiting here out in the street, watching to see if anyone goes into that pink house on the other side of the road. I have my mate at the pizza shop deliver me a pizza while I wait. Everything’s quiet and I’m just about to start eating my pizza. Then I see that dickhead over there come creeping around the side of the house.” “That man over there?” The policeman asked. “Yes! So naturally I confronted him and he denied seeing my girl. Next thing you know we’re in the middle of a brawl and then you arrive.” The policeman thought for a moment, then undid the cuffs. “Here’s the deal, you give me your pizza and I’ll let you drive away with a warning.” The first man nodded grumpily, hopped in his car and drove off. The policeman placed the pizza in his car and then walked over to the second man. “That guy says you were cheating on his girlfriend,” the policeman stated. “How dare he insult my honour like that!” The second man roared. “So what were you doing?” The policeman asked. “Well... trying to rob the place.” The second man mumbled, “but I couldn’t get in!” “That’s hardly any better,” the policeman replied. “The windows were locked up tight, so I decided to give up. Next thing I know some guy is screaming at me, saying I’m having a thing with his girl. We ended up in a fight. Then you turn up.” “Empty your pockets,” the policeman said. The second man pulled out a pair of diamond earrings from another house he had robbed. “I’ll take those,” the policeman said, “But because I’m in a good mood, I’ll let you go.” The second man couldn’t believe his luck. He skipped away down the street. Suddenly, the lights at the front of the pink house turned on. A woman came marching out, “What the hell is going on out here?!” The policeman turned around, “Nothing babe, I’ve got you a pizza and some new earrings.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Friend: Where is your Dad from? Me: China Friend: And your Mum? Me: The Czech Republic Friend: So what are you and your siblings? Me: Chinese Czechers --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Soviet Union had a terrible alcoholism problem. To combat it, Gorbachev restricted vodka production. Consequently, the lines to buy vodka were very long. One day, after waiting in line for hours, one man yelled "I can't take this anymore! I'm going to the Kremlin to kill Gorbachev!" He left, but was back soon after, looking dejected. Everyone asked "Well, did you kill him?" "Are you kidding?" said the man. "The line for that was longer than this one!"