Hi all The morning after the day before ... thank goodness children only have one birthday a year. Leaves me feeling drained ... timewise, moneywise and enerygywise. This week's lineup at the movies is particularly strong, for the tail end of the holidays and the start of the run-up to the end of the year. The Walk is in limited release at the IMAX venues this week, going wide next week. There are previews all weekend for Ooops! Noah is Gone, and for controversial local drama Dis Ek, Anna on Thursday night. See the previews page and remember to book. M O V I E S 9 October 2015 * Pan (PG7-9 V) * Pan (3D) (PG7-9 V) * Life (PG10-12 LSD) * Dope (16 LD) * Jazbaa * Sicario (16 LV) * Pawn Sacrifice (PG10-12) * The Walk (3D)(IMAX) (PG10-12) * American Ultra (16 LVD) * Khalil Gibran's The Prophet (PG) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Added US and UK Top Tens http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 16 October. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the guys) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Most of our generation of 50+ was HOME SCHOOLED in many ways. 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My father taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My father taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!" 13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it from your father when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My father taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand. 25. My father taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!" This was only sent to the over 50 crowd because the younger ones would not believe we truly were told these "EXACT" words by our parents ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man and his wife moved back home to Cork , from London .. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Britain was £2000.00 a year! When they arrived in Cork , they went to an Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, '£39.00.' The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Ireland to insure, because it cost him £2000.00 in England! The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, 'Well, here it is on the screen, it says: *Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is £39.00.*' I always did find the Irish Logic far superior to most others. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A woman calls a veterinarian at 1:00 in the morning, frantic that her pooch has been carrying on with another dog. They are now stuck together in the yard and she wants to get them apart. The male vet, sounding a little irritated asks, "Did you try warm water?" "Yes," said the woman, "It didn't work." "Did you try banging pots and pans together, make a lot of noise to frighten them apart?" "No, but I will try that right now, hold the line!" A few minutes later, she gets back on the phone "No, that did not work either!" The vet then says, "Ok, try this, after you hang up, put your phone in the window so the dogs can hear it." "Get on your cell phone and dial your number." She asks, "Do you really think the ringing of my home phone will get them apart?" The vet replies, "Well, it worked with me and my wife when you called!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A female, who shall remain nameless, took a vacation to France some years ago with one of her girl- friends. Her husband drove her to the airport and wished her a good trip. The wife asked, "Would you like me to bring something back for you?" The husband laughed and says, "How about a French girl!" Our lady kept quiet, didn't respond and went into the terminal. Two weeks later her husband picked her up at the airport and asked, "So, honey, how was the trip?" "Really great, I loved Paris." "And, what happened to my present?" "Which present?" "What I asked for.... the French girl?" "Oh, that? Well, I did what I could, now we'll have to wait nine months to see if it's a girl." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------