Newsletter and jokes 22 July 2016

Hi all 
An interesting lineup this week. First off is a blockbuster of major  
proportions, that puts anything made by Hollywood to shame ... it's the Tamil 
movie Kabali. You can read the details here on the BBC:  
Then we have a new SA Afrikaans drama which looks at some big issues, and 
judging by the synopsis, might even allude to the whole Oscar Pistorius saga, 
if obtusely. 
One of this week's bigger releases is a horror film, which got surprisingly 
good reviews from the US media ... it also opens there today. 
The other big release is a faith-based drama, with two smaller releases  
rounding out the lineup. 
Last but not least is a treat for Queen and Freddie Mercury fans, with select 
screenings of the first live performance of Bohemian Rhapsody, at a Queen  
concert in Bohemia way back in 1975 ... there are a limited number of screenings 
for this, at select theatres, so go and book now ... 
The Top Ten lists are a little delayed, I've queried one of the films on the  
M O V I E S 
Released 22 July 2016 
* Lights Out (13 VH) 
* Free State of Jones (13 VP) 
* God's Not Dead 2 (PG) 
* here to Invade Next (PG10-12 LVD) 
* Twee Grade van Moord (16 LV) 
* Kabali (Tamil) 
* Queen: A Night in Bohemia (select screenings)  
SA Top Tens (commercial, Nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)  
The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily.  
Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia)  
Forthcoming attractions for 29 July.  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD desktop for the gals... someone  
to keep an eye on you ;-) ) 
Pick of the Week  
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
This is what 70+ year old's have to look forward to.  This is something 
that happened at an assisted living center. 
The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a 
central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn't show up for 
breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if 
everything was OK. She could hear him through the door and he said that he 
was running late and would be down shortly so she went back to the dining 
An hour later he still hadn't arrived so she went back up towards his room 
and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was 
having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to 
have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to 
call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain and just wanted 
to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the 
stairs and he had his breakfast. 
When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even 
the first step so they called an ambulance for him. 
A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The 
receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one 
leg of his boxer shorts. 
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started 
her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After 
a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think 
you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing 
there all by yourself!' 
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local 
police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 
10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and 
asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the 
policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny 
asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?' 
*The years 1981 & 2005 are two interesting years* 
In 1981 
 1. Prince Charles got married. 
 2. Liverpool was crowned soccer Champions of Europe. 
 3. Australia lost the Ashes. 
 4. The Pope Died 
In 2005 
 1. Prince Charles got married. 
 2. Liverpool was crowned soccer Champions of Europe   
 3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament. 
 4. The Pope Died 
What does history teach us?  What is the lesson learned? 
The next time Charlie intends to get married, someone better warn the Pope. 

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