Hi all This week's big release sees Tom Hanks swapping his boat for a plane. Possibly he was still upset that Leo got to be the flyboy in Catch Me If You Can. Also up is a very adult animated comedy... don't even think of taking the little ones to that :-) Instead, the little ones can catch Fireman Sam, which is only showing over the weekend. Art patrons have a new film (not to be confused with the same-named Chocolat from a few years back). And lastly the Indian subcontinent has blessed us with three new releases this week. There's a Girl's Night Out next week where the ladies can get to enjoy Bridget Jones dealing with her pregnancy ... see the previews page and remember to book. Enjoy :-) M O V I E S Released 9 September 2016 * Sully (PG10-12 V) * Sully (IMAX) (PG10-12 V) * Sausage Party (16 LSVD) * Chocolat (13 VP) * Fireman Sam: Heroes of the Storm (PG) * Baar Baar Dekho (Hindi) * Freaky Ali (Hindi) * Janaan (probably Hindi) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, Nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 16 September. http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (for the gals) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.' That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' No response. So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?' Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?' Again he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?' Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?' (I just love this) Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quickies... I took off my new girlfriend's glasses last night and said, "Wow, you're stunning!" She said, "And so are you, suddenly." An old girlfriend once complained that I was treating her like a slave. So I sold her. 'Symptoms of stress are eating & smoking too much & driving too fast'. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day. Not paying back interest on money you've borrowed = criminal. Lending money that isn't yours & gaining interest = banker. (and that's not a joke... Ed.) A detective should always carry a thin piece of paper and a pencil. Just in case they need to trace somebody. I've lost my camouflage jacket. Two blondes walk into a building.......... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it. Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...' I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'No, the steaks are too high.' My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.' Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. 'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking fine.' So that was nice.' A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places.' The doctor said, 'Well don't go there anymore' Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------