Hi all The highly anticipated Moonlight opens this week, along with the BAFTA- nominated Denial. But that's not all ... the new LEGO Batman movie has also been getting rave reviews. Rounding out the lineup we have two films from the Indian subcontinent, and of course the latest episode in the Fifty Shades series to spice up your Valentine's Day. The operatic version of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is also screening this week. Probably a bit of a downer for Valentine, that... Enjoy :-) M O V I E S Released 10 February 2017 * Moonlight (13 NSPD) * Denial (PG7-9) * Fifty Shades Darker (16 LNS) * The LEGO Batman Movie (PG) * The LEGO Batman Movie (3D) (PG) * Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (4DX) (16 V) * Balu Mahi (Urdu) * Jolly LLB 2 (Hindi) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, Nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 17 February http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (wallpaper for the guys) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?" She says, "I'm going to commit suicide." While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one. After they finished, George gets approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A priest was invited to attend a house party. Naturally, he was properly dressed and wearing his Priest's Collar. A little boy kept staring at him the entire evening. Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring at. The little boy pointed to the priest's neck. When the priest finally realized what the boy was pointing at, he asked the boy, "Do you know why I am wearing that?" The boy nodded his head yes, and replied, "It kills fleas and ticks for up to three months" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The following is an exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway. Gentleman, I have been riding trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago. Yours truly, Patrick Finnegan Dear Mr. Finnegan, We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot. Sincerely, Larnrod Eireann Gentlemen, I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible, Book of Numbers, 22nd Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years! Patrick Finnegan --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Liquid Paper. I woke up this morning with a huge correction. My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking ......... And then I saw her face...... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- My wife was screaming at me: "Leave!! Get out of this house!" she ordered As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!" So I turned around and replied, "So now you want me to stay?" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- He didn't like the casserole. And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right, He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks, the way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer. I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked him on the head... Like his mother used to do.