Hi all A busy weekend and week for the movies... headlined by the Razzies and Oscars this weekend. Should be an interesting three-way fight. Locally, apart from the new releases, there are two others that released earlier now out on wider release, being the local drama Tess, and one offering from the Indian subcontinent. As far as new movies go, it's a mix of good vs meh. Or perhaps art vs pop. And on top of all that, we've got the previews... with the upcoming Logan: The Wolverine being the main attraction. Kicking off with a guys-night-out, followed the next two nights by general preview. So leave the soft and cuddlies at home and go enjoy a Bro-Mo. There's also previews for two upcoming local movies: Keeping Up With the Kandasamys (a comedy) and Jagveld, a crime thriller. See the previews page and remember to book :-) Enjoy :-) M O V I E S Released 24 February 2017 * Hidden Figures (PG7-9 P) * T2 Trainspotting (16 LSVD) * Fist Fight (16 L) * A Dog's Purpose (PG10-12 V) * Rangoon (Hindi) * Winner (Teluga) On wide release this week * Tess (16 LSVD) * Running Shaadi (Hindi) http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm SA Top Tens (commercial, Nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit) http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily. http://www.moviesite.co.za/news/newsitem.htm Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia) http://www.moviesite.co.za/where.htm Forthcoming attractions for 3 March http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm Updated the pic and quote on the home page http://www.moviesite.co.za/ This Week's pinup http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper) Pick of the Week http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm List of all movies showing http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm Same list sorted by Age Restriction http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) Cheers, Ian --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number? Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive. I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your x and wondered y? America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that. I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night. Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage. Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye. You're not fat, you're just... easier to see. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments to the bank. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look alright." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist. "Could you taste this for me, please?" The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it. It tasted unpleasant. "Does that taste sweet to you?" says Paddy. "No, not at all," says the chemist, pulling a face. "Oh that's a relief," says Paddy. "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar." --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shampoo Warning When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning: "FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY" No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well, I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with dish washing liquid instead, because its label reads: "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE." PROBLEM SOLVED --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear America , You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it" Sincerely, Google Dear Saturn, I liked it, so I put a ring on it. Sincerely, God Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Sincerely, Logic Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Sincerely, The Titanic Dear Customers, Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies Dear World, Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because Some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok? Sincerely, The Mayans Dear iPhone, Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely, Every iPhone User Dear Man, It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? Sincerely, Elephant --------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. We have enough "youth". How about a fountain of "smart"? The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party When blondes have more fun ... do they know it? Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it's an amusement park. LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES USE BIRTH CONTROL Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch. Don't Drink and Drive. You might hit a bump and spill something. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name. ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY. The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population "You know why a banana is like a politician?" "He comes in and first he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's rotten." "I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors." The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would 'hate' to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.