Newsletter and jokes 15 September 2017

Hi all 
Well it looks like South Africa is going to go all out to win another 
Oscar next year for Best Foreign Language film... we've got at least 
three films hoping to make the short list, and they are all screening 
this week at select venues, to qualify. Enjoy. 
On the commercial side we have the long-awaited adaptation of Stephen  
King's "It" gracing the screens. The film set various records last week 
stateside and should do well here, given the way horror movies are doing 
at the box office these days. Curiously, last week saw another King-based 
movie open, and we might end up with a 1-2 combo for him this weekend. 
Staying with the adult fare, we have two action thrillers, one of which 
is a big release and the other more limited (despite the big name star). 
Then we go to rom-com territory, with Reese Witherspoon back on the screen 
after a long absence, as well as a Nigerian offering... been years since 
we've had anything from Nigeria, and the first rom-com I think. 
On the art circuit, we have a previous Mr rom-com himself, Richard Geere, 
tackling something more suited to the greying hairs. 
And lastly we have three offerings from India, two Hindi and one Tamil. 
On the previews side there are a previews all over all day tomorrow  
(Saturday) for the upcoming animated treat The Emoji Movie.  
See the previews page and remember to book. 
Released 15 September 2017 
* It (16 LVH) 
* It (IMAX) (16 LVH) 
* It (4DX) (16 LVH) 
* Home Again (PG10-12 LSD) 
* American Assassin (16 LV) 
* Armed Response (16 LVH) 
* Norman (PG10-12 L) 
* My Wife & I (13 L) 
* Lucknow Central (Hindi) 
* Magalir Mattum (Tamil) 
* Simran (Hindi) 
Oscar qualifiers: 
* Five Fingers for Marseilles (16 LV) 
* Inxeba (The Wound) (16 LS) 
* Vaya (13 LV)  
SA Top Tens (commercial, Nouveau, best and worst movies on circuit)  
The US and UK Top Tens. Industry news updated daily.  
Showtimes (all Ster-Kinekor, Nu Metro, MovieZone, CineCentre, Movies@, Labia)  
Forthcoming attractions for 29 September  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)  
Pick of the Week  
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Shortly after the new president of the USA was elected, several Americans 
movie stars said they were moving to Canada. 
So...Canada's Prime Minister has made the decision to build a wall. 
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. She rolled the dice and she 
landed on Science & Nature. 
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can 
you hear it?" 
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" 
- I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed 
- I had amnesia once -- or twice. 
- I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what? 
- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. 
- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. 
- If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses side-saddle. 
- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? 
- They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them. 
- Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows 
up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway. 
- Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. 
- Is there another word for synonym? 
- The speed of time is one second per second. 
- Is it possible to be totally partial? 
- What's another word for thesaurus? 
- Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? 
- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? 
- Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a 
man who can't get his pants off. 
-It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one. 
- Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? 
- Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. 
- What if there were no hypothetical questions? 
- One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. 
- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like 
a nail. 
- A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 
- What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? 
- My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies. 
- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. 
- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. 
- How can there be self-help "groups"? 
A Sunday School class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to 
discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it 
Susie raised her hand, stood tall and quoted, "Thou shalt not take the 
covers off thy neighbour's wife." 

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