Newsletter and jokes 6 October 2017

Hi all 
Another hectic week draws to a close. :-) 
I'm a bit of a hurricane watcher. This year has been interesting... firstly 
we had Jose and the Fandango here:  
And now Ophelia is about to smack into Ireland, I think its the first  
hurricane since Debbie in 1961 to make landfall there as a hurricane. 
Anyway, on to more pleasant things... 
First up, in keeping with the October-is-horror-month (and because that's  
all that seems to work at the cinemas these days), we have local director 
Darryll Roodt's offering, Siembamba, in very limited release. 
Then we have some more from the dark side of life with The Snowman,  
Shot Caller and Unlocked. 
On to comedy and rom-com territory, we have the female-friendly The Last 
Word, and local off-beat romance The Whale Caller, set in Hermanus. 
On the preview/premier side, there are a few screenings next Wednesday 
evening for Mersal (from India, Tamil) and The Mountain Between Us, which 
is doing much better than I thought it would in the USA and UK, given the 
subject matter. 
See the Previews page and remember to book :-) 
Lastly, Pearl Jam are on the big screen at selected venues on Saturday. 
Forgot to mention last week we've added Cornubia mall to the Showtimes  
page. We've also got the Nouveau Top Ten list again. 
Released 13 October 2017 
* The Last Word (13 L) 
* Shot Caller (18 LV) 
* The Whale Caller (13 LSD) 
* The Snowman (16 V) 
* Unlocked (16 LV) 
* Siembamba (16 V SV H)  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)  
Pick of the Week  
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
She's single ... she lives right across the street and I can see her place 
from my kitchen window! 
I watched as she got home from work this evening!  I was surprised when she 
walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door! 
I opened the door, she looked at me and said: "I just got home, and I have 
this strong urge to go dancing and drinking, and maybe fool around a little 
... you know, have some fun.  Are you doing anything tonight?" 
"No, I'm free!" I quickly replied. 
"Great!" she said. "Can you look after my dog ?" 
Being a senior citizen is really for the birds !! 
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a 
little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the 
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm 
completely naked." 
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an 
Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" 
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed: "YES! YES! 
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings (and her 
clothes) and quickly departed. 
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 
"What did she roll?" 
The other answered,"I don't know - I thought you were watching the dice." 
An actual tweet from Chicago: 
"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, 
but apparently it just changes the color of the baby." 
What did our parents do when they were bored and the internet didn't exist? 
I asked my 18 brothers and sisters but they didn't know either. 
The brain is the most amazing organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a  
year, from birth until you fall in love. 
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my 
girlfriend yet. 
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get 
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would 
like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening". 
You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive 
slowly past schools. 
A son asked his mother the following question : ' Mom, why are wedding 
dresses white? ' 
The mother looks at her son and replies : ' Son, this shows your friends 
and relatives that your bride is pure.' 
The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. ' 
Dad why are wedding dresses white? ' 
The father looks at his son in surprise and says : 'Son, all household 
appliances come in white.' 

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