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Newsletter and jokes: 17 November 2017

Hi all

Well the roads are getting a bit quieter in the mornings. Guess I have the
students and matrics to thank for that. 

While we sit and contemplate the coup that is not a coup, let's see what's
on at the movies...

The big release this week is Justice League, which is one of those movies
where the critics went "meh" and the crowds streamed in to enjoy...

As a bit of counter-programming to all that action, we have an arthouse
release looking at the back story behind Wonder Woman, which of course
involves two wonder women...

Also on the art circuit, a look at an attempt to assassinate one of 
Hitler's henchmen, during the early part of World War II. 

Moving on to more pleasant things, we have a new local Afrikaans comedy
drama, with a Christmas theme. Staying with Christmas (guess it's early 
this year) we have an animated look at the nativity story, told from the 
point of view of the animals involved. Despite the cheesy premise, it's
got above-average reviews so far.

Lastly the Indian subcontinent provides a Hindi comedy, and a detective 
thriller releasing in both Tamil and Telugu.

On the previews side, there are isolated previews for Disney's upcoming
Coco on Sunday afternoon, and a handful for the new Murder on the Orient
Express, next Thursday evening. See the previews page and remember to book.

Lastly there are some screenings for Mozart's Die Zauberflote on at the 

Released 17 November 2017

* Justice League (10 LV)
* Justice League (3D) (10 LV)
* Justice League (3D IMAX) (10 LV)
* Justice League (4DX) (10 LV)
* Professor Marston and the Wonder Women
* The Man With the Iron Heart (18 V)
* The Star (probably all ages or PG)
* Liewe Kersfeesvader (PG10-12 L)
* Tumhari Sulu (Hindi)
* Theeran Adhigaaram Ondru (Tamil)
* Theeran Adhigaaram Ondru (Telugu)

Forthcoming attractions

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)

Pick of the Week

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


Police are hunting the 'knitting needle nutter' who has stabbed 6 people.
They believe he could be following some kind of pattern

A super model is marrying the engineer from Thunderbirds but will keep her
She'll be known as Claudia Schiffer-Brains.

I went to the gym and asked the trainer, what kind of machine I should use
to make myself more attractive to women?
He said "Cash Machine"

Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a lorry went by loaded
up with rolls of turf.
Paddy said, 'I gonna do that when I win the lottery.'
'What's dat?' says his mate.
'Send me lawn away to be cut.' says Paddy


An oldie...

A husband and wife were having dinner at a fine restaurant when an
absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the
husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!"

"Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress."

The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce."

"I understand," replies her husband, "but remember, if you get a divorce,
there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, Milan or Tokyo, no wintering
in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club.

But... the decision is yours."

Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a
gorgeous woman on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks.

"That's his mistress," replies her husband.

"Oh!!," says the wife, "... Ours is prettier."


I entered a pun competition in my local paper.
I sent two lots of 5 entries and thought at least one would get published.
But no pun in ten did.


I live in my own little world, but it's OK. Everyone knows me here.

I don't do drugs. I find I get the same effect just by standing up really

I don't like political jokes. I've seen too many get elected.

The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in

Every day I beat my previous record of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team's winning.

Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery
tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

Marriage changes passion . . . suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.


During a lull over a recent dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with
the Secretary of  State, Rex Tillerson. "You know, I bought Donald a parrot
for his birthday in June. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught
him to say over two hundred words!"

"Wow, that's pretty impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize that
he just speaks the words, ...he doesn't really understand what they

"Oh, I know," replied Melania, .........."neither does the parrot."


Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mum and said, "He fought
with me again, I am coming to live with you."

Mum said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live
with you."

Professor Marston and the Wonder WomenTheeran Adhigaaram Ondru (Telugu)Justice LeagueLiewe KersfeesvaderJustice League (3D IMAX)Theeran Adhigaaram Ondru (Tamil)Justice League (4DX)
Tumhari SuluJustice League (3D)The Man with the Iron HeartThe Star
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