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Newsletter and jokes: 1 December 2017

Hi all

The countdown to Christmas has begun... and this year will be more 
interesting than others because of the politics in the middle...

December means family fare, and yes Paddington is back. Paddington is the 
highest-grossing non-Hollywood family movie of all time, and is set to 
build on that record. (Well, not sure if they included Bollywood in that

Then as a bit of counter-programming for all that family fun, we have
the Bad Moms back again doing their raucous comedy thing. Also for adults
and older teens, we have the tale of a hitchhike gone wrong.

Staying with things automobile, Clint Eastwood's son headlines another
variety of the 'fast and furious' genre, while the art circuit takes a look
at the historic him-versus-her tennis match with Billie Jean King.

The Bollywood film Padmavati was set to release this week but I guess all
the death threats and threats of violence (in UK and India) led to it being
held back. The strange thing is that people got upset about the film 
without even actually seeing it, and (according to reports) jumped to the 
wrong conclusions... but now the star and director are dealing with death 

Anyway... on the previews side there are previews tomorrow for the upcoming
Afrikaans black comedy Vuil Wasgoed, and a few next Wednesday for Wonder,
which is doing surprisingly well Stateside, given the unusual subject 

Released 1 December 2017

* Paddington 2 (PG)
* Paddington 2 (IMAX) (PG)
* A Bad Moms Christmas (16 LSD)
* Accident (16 LV)
* Battle of the Sexes (PG10-12 P)
* She is King (13 D)
* Overdrive (13 V)
* Overdrive (4DX) (13 V)

Forthcoming attractions

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)

Pick of the Week

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


Many of the problems we face today exist because the people who work for a
living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living.


After  being married for more than 40 years....a wife asked  her husband to
describe her.
He  looked at her slowly...then said, "You're still  A, B, C, D,  E,
F, G, H.... I, J,  K."

She  asks..... "What does that  mean?"

He  said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful,  Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous,

She  smiled happily and said...."Oh, that's so  lovely..... What  about  I,
J, K?"

He  said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

His  eye is still swollen....but it will get  better............


"Scientists in China say they have found a dolphin they previously thought
was extinct. Scientists say the dolphin is rare, beautiful, and delicious
with hot mustard sauce."
--Conan O'Brien

"Here is a very odd story. A woman in Tennessee is now suing a local
pharmacy after buying what she thought were birth control patches. They
turned out to be nicotine patches. The good news, her new baby is now down
to a half a pack a day."
--Jay Leno


Panicking when her toddler swallowed a tiny magnet a mother, rushed him to
the emergency room.

"He'll be fine," the doctor promised her. "The magnet should pass through
his system in a day or two."

"How will I be sure?" she pressed.

"Well," the doctor suggested, "you could stick him on the refrigerator.
When he falls off, you'll know."


A teacher asked one of the boys in her class, "Can people predict the
future with cards?"

His response was, "My mother can."

The teacher replied, "Really?"

The young boy was quick to explain, "Yes, she takes one look at my report
card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."


A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.

"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"

"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"

"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"


A farmer went to the local bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan
was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see
how the bull was doing.

The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look
at a cow.

Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.

Next week, Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped.

The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all of my cows! He
broke through the fence, and bred all my neighbor's cows! He's been
breeding just about everything in sight. He's like a machine!"

"Wow," said Banker Bill, "what did the vet do to that bull?"

"Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer.

"What kind of pills?" asked Banker Bill.

"I don't know, but they kind of taste like peppermint."

Paddington 2 (IMAX)She is KingA Bad Moms ChristmasBattle of the SexesPadmavatiPadmavati (3D)Overdrive (4DX)Accident
OverdrivePaddington 2
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