Newsletter and jokes 22 December 2017

Hi all 
A lot of bull this week... I remember borrowing Ferdinand from the library 
as a child, truly one of the classics for children. 
Also up is the third and final episode of Pitch Perfect... I know the 
series has some fans, but the critics were not impressed at all this time 
On the art circuit we have Wonder Wheel, an off-beat drama from Woody 
Allen, set on Coney Island back in the 1950s. 
And lastly, the Indian subcontinent has two offerings, an action thriller 
in Hindi and a social-justice drama in Tamil. Also Rangreza (Urdu) opened  
It being Christmas weekend and all, there are previews all day all over 
on Tuesday (Boxing Day) for Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, which opens 
next week. Enjoy... they're expecting it to do well Stateside. 
Released 22 December 2017 
* Ferdinand (PG V) 
* Ferdinand (3D) (PG V) 
* Pitch Perfect 3 (13 LV) 
* Wonder Wheel (13 S) 
* Tiger Zinda Hai (Hindi) 
* Velaikkaran (Tamil)  
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)  
Pick of the Week  
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Ten and Worst Ten Movies by Critical Rating  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, 
completely exasperated, she cries, "What rotten luck! What in the world 
should I do now?" 
A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, "I 
don't know ... Why don't you play your age?" 
He walks away. Moments later, his he is intrigued to hear a great commotion 
at the roulette table. Maybe, she won! 
Rushing back to the table and pushing his way through the crowd, he is 
stunned to see the lady lying limp on the floor, with the table operator 
kneeling over her. 
He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" 
The operator replies, "I don't know, buddy ... she put all her money on 29. 
When 36 came up she fainted!" 
Caddies... too sharp. 
Golfer: Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake. 
Caddie: Think you can keep your head down that long? 
Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course. 
Caddie: Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth. 
Golfer: Do you think my game is improving? 
Caddie: Yes, you miss the ball much closer now. 
Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron? 
Caddie: Eventually. 
Golfer: You've got to be the worst caddy in the world. 
Caddie: I don't think so, that would be too much of a coincidence. 
Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a 
Caddie: It's not a watch - it's a compass. 
Golfer: How do you like my game? 
Caddie: Very good, but personally, I prefer golf. 
Golfer: Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday? 
Caddie: The way you play, it's a sin on any day. 
Golfer: This is the worst course I've ever played on. 
Caddie: This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago. 
#1 Best Caddie Comment: 
Golfer: That can't be my ball, it's too old. 
Caddy: It's been a long time since we teed off, sir. 
Definitions. Read slowly :-) 
1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds. 
2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do. 
3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage. 
4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with. 
5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate. 
6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. 
7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living. 
8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist. 
9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does. 
10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money. 
11. MISTY: How golfers create divots. 
12. PARADOX: Two physicians. 
13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower. 
14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm. 
15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with. 
16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV. 
17. RELIEF: What trees do in the Spring. 
18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife. 
19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does. 
20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official. 

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