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Newsletter and jokes: 11 May 2018



Hi all

While Avengers: Infinity War continues to stomp all over the record books
both here and abroad, we take another breather from US Summer Blockbuster
releases until next week.

In the mean time, this week's big release is the kiddie/family film
Sherlock Gnomes, in both 2D and 3D. The other wide release is aimed 
at the adult audience and we take a look at human trafficking in Traffik.

Ex-local lass Charlize is back on screen in a female-friendly film which
despite getting good reviews from press and public alike, did not set the 
US box office on fire. That may be related to the number of prints, as well
as going head-to-head with the superhero releases.

Then we have I Can Only Imagine, which takes a look at what is apparently
the biggest selling Christian single of all time (I Can Only Image) and how
it came to be written. This film did extremely well for its genre
Stateside.

Then on the art cinema (and related) we have a gritty spy drama set in 
Beirut, written by Tony Gilroy, who has a string of hits including the
Jason Bourne series to his name.

Lastly India supplies two films, both involving espionage and who-do-you-
trust issues, one in Hindi and one in Tamil.

On the previews side, there are PLENTY of previews this coming week For 
the next blockbuster, Deadpool 2. See the previews page and remember to
book :-)

Lastly, a quick update on Infinity War, from BoxOfficeMojo: 

==============

Disney and Marvel's Avengers: Infinity War continues its record pace, 
topping $450 million domestically in just nine days and the $1 billion mark
worldwide in a record 11 days. 

The film's domestic gross now stands at $450.8 million after just ten days 
in release, pacing behind only Star Wars: The Force Awakens which reached 
that mark in just nine days.

Internationally, Infinity War remained the #1 western release in every 
territory in which it has been released, posting an estimated $162.6 
million from 54 overseas markets this weekend for a global weekend totaling
$275.1 million, bringing the film's worldwide cume to a massive $1.16 
billion. 

==============

The film opens in China this weekend, and is likely to add another 100
million USD there ...


Released 11 May 2018

* Sherlock Gnomes (3D) (PG V)
* Sherlock Gnomes (PG V)
* Traffik (16 LSVD SV)
* Tully (16 LNSD)
* I Can Only Imagine (PG10-12 V)
* Beirut (16 LVPD)
* Raazi (Hindi)
* Irumbu Thirai (Tamil)


http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm 

Forthcoming attractions
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (cellphone wallpaper)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating to be updated.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Our teacher asked us what our favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried
chicken."

She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, everyone else in
the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried
chicken is my favourite animal. I told my dad what happened,
and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love
animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what
happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal
was. I told her it was chicken.

She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children.

So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She
sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed,
and told me not to do it again.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher
doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what
famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders".

Guess where I am now ...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

World's Shortest Books

THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE by Barack Obama

MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS by Tiger Woods

THINGS I  LOVE ABOUT BILL by  Hillary Clinton

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY By Bill  Clinton

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE by Mike Tyson 

THE AMISH  PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS by O. J. Simpson

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY by Ted Kennedy

MY BOOK OF MORALS by Bill Clinton with introduction by the
Rev. Jesse Jackson 

AND, JUST ADDED:

My Complete Knowledge of Geopolitical Strategy by Donald Trump

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man was found dead in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene
found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk,
sugar, cornflakes, and sliced bananas.

Police suspect a cereal killer.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie, a recently-hired, retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, came in 5 to 15
minutes late every morning, but he was among the best of
Wal-Mart older persons.

His boss called him into his office and said: Charlie, I have to tell you,
I like your work ethic, but you are late all the time.

Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it. Charlie replied.

Well good, you are a team player. I know you're retired from the Navy. What
did they say when you came in late there?

They said Good morning, Admiral, can I get you a cup of Coffee, sir?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

What Is a Man?

A real man is a woman's best friend.

He will never stand her up and never let her down.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad
day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live
without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most
intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman
in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive,
invincible ...

No wait ... I'm thinking of alcohol.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------




TraffikIrumbu ThiraiRaaziI Can Only ImagineBeirutSherlock Gnomes (3D)
Newsletter
TullySherlock Gnomes
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