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Newsletter and jokes: 25 May 2018

Hi all

So the back story to Han Solo and Chewbacca hits the screens today, and 
basically almost everywhere else around the world too. Businesswise they
are expecting a challenging launch, given that The Avengers and Deadpool
are doing so well. It's a long weekend in the USA and UK this week, which
may helps things a bit there. Here, it's exam season as well as a busy
weekend for rugby.

The other two western releases are arthouse-and-related female-friendly
films, namely Finding your Feet, and Please Stand By, while Bollywood
supplies us a look at India's nuclear research program, which is curious
as countries prefer to be circumspect about such things....

No previews this week. If you're busy with exams, good luck :-)

May the force be with you :-)

Released 25 May 2018

* Solo: A Star Wars Story (PG10-12 V)
* Solo: A Star Wars Story (3D) (PG10-12 V)
* Solo: A Star Wars Story (3D IMAX) (PG10-12 V)
* Finding Your Feet (13 LD)
* Please Stand By (PG10-12 L)
* Parmanu: The Story of Pokhran 

Forthcoming attractions

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)

Pick of the Week 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of
the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be
the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This
would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered
to Mexico.

But as we know the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an
iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who
were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery were
disconsolate at the loss.

Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning
which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th, and is known of
course as Sinko de Mayo.


As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you
and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night.

You came to me unexpectedly during the calm and balmy night, and what
happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared from no where and shamelessly, without any reservations, you
laid on my naked sensed my indifference, so you applied your
hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near
crazy while you drained me.

Finally, I drifted off to sleep.

Today when I awoke, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only
the sheets bore witness to last night's events.

My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it
all the more difficult to forget you.

Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you ... you ****** mosquito.


Paddy is walking down the road eating a bag of doughnuts. Murphy meets him
& asks 'If I can guess how many doughnuts you have in the bag, can I have
one? Paddy said 'If you can guess how many doughnuts are in there you can
have both of them'. Murphy shouts 'Four!'


Let's spare a thought for Michael O'Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair.

Arriving in a hotel in Dublin, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of

The barman nodded and said "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary,"

to which Michael replied "That's a very competitive price" and handed over
his money.

"Will you be wanting a glass with your Guinness, sir?" enquired the barman.


I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they pass by.

Douglas Adams

Solo: A Star Wars Story (3D)Please Stand ByFinding Your Feet
Parmanu: The Story of PokhranSolo: A Star Wars Story (3D IMAX)Solo: A Star Wars Story
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