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Newsletter and jokes: 24 August 2018



Hi all

A few months ago I was pondering "where have all the rom-coms gone" ... the
romantic comedy used to be a staple of the cinema circuit, and many went on
to become part of the western cultural backdrop... you know, everything 
from When Harry Met Sally, Pretty Woman, You've Got Mail, Sleepless in 
Seattle, Runaway Bride, or even Shakespeare-dun-modern 10 Things I Hate
About You.

And then Meg Ryan and Julia Roberts got a bit older, and the upcoming 
starlets failed to capture the public's imagination in rom-coms, and 
Hollywood relegated them to the back burner and TV.

That all changes now, with Crazy Rich Asians hitting the screen, and being
hailed as the rebirth of the classic rom-com. Based on a best-selling 
novel, it also got a lot of press coverage for being entirely populated by
Asians, the first such Hollywood movie since The Joy Luck club decades ago.

The fact that critics and public alike have given it good ratings has also
helped.

[To be fair, some people managed to find fault by accusing it of not being
inclusive enough in the Asian casting ... ie "yellow" Asians only and no
"brown" ones... but I think they are just being silly. It's a movie not a
polical correctness class.]

And CRA is just the beginning, since there are other good things on offer
too this week. Staying with relationship issues, we have Glenn Close's
Oscar bid in The Wife, on the art-and-similar circuit, while Denzel 
Washington reprises his role in The Equalizer 2, making short work of 
people who upset him.

For the younger crowd and families we have another boy-and-dog story, but 
this time the dog is a highly-intelligent robot. It looks like the 
studio kept this away from the press, I will add the press reviews later.

Lastly Bollywood rolls out another comedy caper in the sequel Happy Phirr 
Bhag Jayegi, with the action shifted to China.

On the previews side, there are previews all over all daytime Saturday
for next week's Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation. See the previews
page and remember to book.

Releasing 24 August 2018

* Crazy Rich Asians (13 LPD)
* The Wife (16 LSVD)
* The Equalizer 2 (16 LVD)
* The Equalizer 2 (IMAX) (16 LVD)
* A.X.L. (10 V)
* Happy Phirr Bhag Jayegi (Hindi)


http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm 

Forthcoming attractions
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Cellphone wallpaper)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the
Granville Presbyterian church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It
happened again the next week. The following
Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady
put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks
until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the
collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some
of it to the church."

The pastor asked, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady replied, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful! What does he do for a
living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he
practice?"

The little old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las
Vegas and one in Reno ."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

My uncle was given bad news by his doc.
"You've got cancer & Altzeimer's"...
"Thank goodness I haven't got cancer" he replied.


A bloke was lying in the street covered in liquorice & coconut. 
I said "What the hell happened to you?"...
"All sorts"


Health experts say red meat is the worst for your health. 
Surely not as bad as furry green meat.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. He enjoys his beer for
some time, until a voice reaches his ears, "Mate, love your haircut".

Perplexed, he looks around, and sees only the regulars at the far end of
the bar. Deciding it might have been someone leaving, he continues
drinking.

Not too long after, he hears the voice again, "Nice shirt buddy, goes with
the hair".

Truly bewildered he calls over the barman and asks him what's going on,
who's talking to him?

The barman looks at him then points at a bowl on the bar, "Don't stress
mate - that's just the complimentary peanuts".

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the usual monthly meeting of the Dyslexic Society at the local pub.

One member went to the toilet where he met a stranger who explained that he
wasn't a new member and that he would be doing a turn later on.

"So, what are you?" the member asked.

"I'm a comedian", was the reply.

"OK! Let's see you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Let's see you change colour."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

f you're chased by a police dog, don't go through a tunnel, on a little
seesaw & jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.


Stopped a woman for dodgy driving. "where are your glasses" I said. "I have
contacts" she said. "Don't threaten me!" I replied.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied,
'Two years older than me' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She
responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the
best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No
peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, New
knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind, Can't hear
anything quieter than a jet engine, Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia
.. Have poor circulation; Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't
remember if I'm 89 or 98. Have lost all my friends. But, thank
Goodness, I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, So I got my doctor's
permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take
an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and
down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp
as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff In my shopping cart says, 'For fast
relief.'


Crazy Rich AsiansThe Equalizer 2 (IMAX)Happy Phirr Bhag JayegiA.X.L.The Wife
Newsletter
The Equalizer 2
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