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Newsletter and jokes: 14 September 2018

Hi all

It's a mostly-adults lineup this week, but unlike last week, we do have
something new for the kiddies, in the form of Sgt. Stubby: An American 
Hero, but given the subject matter, I think it's wise to take the PG 
part seriously and watch it with them.

For the rest ... the reboot of the Predator series has arrived in all 
formats to thrill and scare you. Enjoy. :-)

On the art-and-similar circuit, we have two options, firstly a complicated
love story in Submergence, and then a remake of a TV movie (and based on 
real events) about some smart-but-crooked financial types in Billionaire 
Boys Club. This film had a disasterous launch in the US, where it sold
less than one ticket per venue on average on opening day, and was quickly 
pulled. This was blamed on Spacey's presence in the film, rather than any 
inherent lack of merit in the film itself.

The sub-continent has two offerings, one Hindi and one Tamil, both in 
variants of the rom-com genre.

On the previews side, there are previews next Thursday evening for A 
Simple Favour, Johnny English Strike Again, and gritty local crime thriller
Mayfair. See the previews page and remember to book.

Releasing 14 September 2018

* The Predator (3D) (16 LVH)
* The Predator (16 LVH)
* The Predator (3D IMAX) (16 LVH)
* The Predator (4DX) (16 LVH)
* Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero (PG7-9 V)
* Submergence (16 V)
* Billionaire Boys Club (16 LSVD)
* Manmarziyaan (Hindi)
* Seema Raja (Tamil) 

Forthcoming attractions

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper)

Pick of the Week 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


I have decided to produce and sell a strong alcoholic drink called

That way everyone in the country can get wasted drinking Responsibly.

And all the other drinks makers will be advertising for me on their cans
with the slogan "Please Drink Responsibly".

Probably will annoy the government as well.


An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting
senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'

'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to
zip down.'


In search of fresh vegetable puns ... lettuce know.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know Y.

Big shout out to my fingers ... I can always count on them.

Crushing cooldrink cans is soda pressing.

My mood ring is missing and I don't know how I feel about that.

Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.

Cow stumbles into pot field. The steaks have never been higher.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

What I if told you
You read the previous line wrong?

Ban pre-shredd cheese, make America grate again.

Turning vegan would be a big missed steak.

Out mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.

Well, to be Frank, I'd have to change my name.

Dogs can't operate MRI scanners, but catscan.


Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed , this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end
in fine..

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
'You're welcome'.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying **** YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I'll do it : Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
For the woman's response refer to #3.

Sgt. Stubby: An American HeroThe Predator (3D IMAX)The Predator (4DX)Seema RajaSubmergenceThe Predator
Billionaire Boys ClubThe Predator (3D)Manmarziyaan
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