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Newsletter and jokes: 5 October 2018



Hi all

Venom hits the screens worldwide today but unfortunately the critics are
underwhelmed. Perhaps it will be like last week's Night School which didn't
impress the critics much but still did decent business.

Also on the adult (and art circuit) is the account of a fictional 
relationship between Archbishop Desmond Tutu and someone with much to 
confess to.

Moving to the younger ages for the tail end of the holidays, we have the 
latest big-screen adventure of Thomas the Tank Engine for the ankle-biters,
while the older kids can enjoy The House With a Clock in Its Walls, now
available in regular version as well.

The sub-continent rolls out two Hindi and one Tamil film, in the romance,
detective and crime drama genres.

On the previews side, there's a premiere for local gal-comedy Baby Mamas
next Thursday at Loch Logan, while those up in Angola get to see
gritty revenge action thriller Peppermint from this week, while we have to
wait until the end of the month.

Enjoy :-)

Releasing 5 October 2018

* Venom (3D) (16 LVH)
* Venom (16 LVH)
* Venom (3D IMAX) (16 LVH)
* Venom (4DX) (16 LVH)
* The Forgiven (18 LVP)
* The House With a Clock in Its Walls (PG10-12 VH)
* Thomas & Friends: Big World! Big Adventures! The Movie (PG)
* Loveyatri (Hindi)
* Andhadhun (Hindi)
* Chekka Chivantha Vaanam (Tamil)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm 

Forthcoming attractions
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A farmer was wondering how
 many of his sheep had gone out to
 pasture, so he
asked his sheepdog 
to count them.

“There are 40,” said the dog
 upon his return.

“That can’t be right,” said the 
farmer. “I only have 38.”

“I know,” said the dog. 
“I rounded them up.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a friend who’s so into recycling
 that she won’t consider marrying a
man unless he’s been married before.

I wish I knew who kicked the jack out from under the car I was working on.
The suspension is killing me.

Q: How often should you wear
 gloves in the winter?
A: Intermittenly

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching and she was horriied 
to learn 
that her mother had 
bought the exact same dress for 
the wedding as her 
father’s young 
new wife. Jennifer implored her 
stepmother to exchange hers, 
but 
she refused. So Jennifer’s mother 
agreed to buy a diferent dress for 
the wedding.

“Are you going to return the other 
dress?” Jennifer asked. “You really 
don’t have another occasion where 
you could wear it.”

Her mother smiled. “Of course 
I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the 
rehearsal 
dinner the night before 
the wedding.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A late arrival at the Nashville 
airport left me standing in front of 
a car 
rental agent one night. In a 
heavy southern drawl, she asked, 
“Can ah help y’ all?”

After processing my order, she 
said, “I have an accent. Is that OK?”

“I don’t mind at all,” I said. “Being 
from New England, I have one, too.”

She waited a minute before 
replying, “I meant the car. I have a 
Hyundai 
Accent.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

During a class about the effects 
of weather, my high school science 
teacher asked, “Does anyone know 
the first sense you lose when struck 
by lightning?” 

A classmate put her hand up and 
answered, “Your sense of humour?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a health scare, I 
hugged my wife and whispered, 
“If something happens to me, 
the presents in my closet are yours.” 

She whispered back, “If anything 
happens to you, everything in your 
closet is mine.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

SCENE: Bar
Me: What’s the Wi-Fi password?
Bartender: You need to buy a 
drink first.
Me: OK, I’ll have a Coke.
Bartender: Three dollars.
Me: There you go. So what’s the 
Wi-Fi password?
Bartender: “You need to buy a drink 
first.” No spaces, all lowercase.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teaching is not for sensitive 
souls. While reviewing future, past, 
and 
present tenses with my English 
class, I posed this question: 
“ ‘I am 
beautiful’ is what tense?”

One student raised her hand. 
“Past tense.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Did you hear about the racing 
snail who got rid of his shell? 
A: He thought it would make him 
faster, but it just made him sluggish.



Venom (3D)Thomas & FriendsLoveyatriThe ForgivenVenomAndhadhunVenom (3D IMAX)Chekka Chivantha Vaanam
Newsletter
The House With a ClockVenom (4DX)
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