Newsletter and jokes 30 November 2018

Hi all 
Well it's the end of the month, the holidays are in sight, and we've got 
a bumper lineup of movie goodness to escape the summer heat. 
Where to begin .... Mmm okay, Ralph Breaks the Internet. The sequel to 
Wreck It Ralph very nearly dethroned Frozen as the box office champ over 
the American Thanksgiving weekend last week, having secured great critical 
and public reviews. 
Ralph is joined on circuit (well, Ralph for kiddies, and Creed for the  
parents) with the sequel to Creed, part of the long-running Rocky  
franchise. If it wasn't for Ralph, Creed would have been top of the US box 
office last weekend with a very respectable 55 Million for the 5-day (35  
for the weekend.). The Yanks are expecting the same one-two combo this 
weekend. Creed II likewise has good ratings from both press and public. 
Picking the Pick of the Week was interesting this week, because there  
were three movies with an average over 70% .. apart from the two above,  
there is this week's arthouse release Puzzle, which is in essence a tale 
of female empowerment, hidden in an unlikely yet appealing story. 
And then there's this week's second widest release... we will rock you with 
the story of Freddy Mercury and Queen, in Bohemian Rhapsody. It's doing 
well with the public, no doubt helped along by the memorable music. 
That takes care of the big hitters for the week. Also releasing into a  
niche market is Status Update, a fantasy where your status brags come true, 
while the subcontintent joins Hollywood in a cross-over movie about Indian 
weddings, in 5 Weddings. 
And last but not least, another sequel in the aptly named 2.0 which is  
releasing in both Hindi and Tamil versions. The Indian Superheroes have  
arrived :-) 
No previews this week, unless you want to catch Robin Hood in Lusaka, 
where it is having an early release. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 30 November 2018 
* Ralph Breaks the Internet (3D) (PG LVH) 
* Ralph Breaks the Internet (PG LVH) 
* Ralph Breaks the Internet (3D IMAX) (PG LVH) 
* Bohemian Rhapsody (13 LSD) 
* Bohemian Rhapsody (IMAX) (13 LSD) 
* Creed II (13 LSVD) 
* Puzzle 
* Status Update (13 LVP) 
* 5 Weddings 
* 2.0 (Hindi) 
* 2.0 (Tamil)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
On the phone with my 93-year-old brother in Wisconsin, and I told him I  
thought it was time he paid someone to shovel snow for him.  
He suddenly grew indignant.  
“Why should I pay someone to shovel?” he demanded. “I can get 
my son to do it. He’s only 70!” 
Before heading off to Mexico on vacation, my daughter asked her doctor for  
medicine to ward off any potential stomach troubles. 
Instead, the doctor prescribed bottled water and electrolytes, “which have 
simple sugars and salt.” 
My daughter liked that.  
“Oh,” she said, “like a margarita?” 
My three-year-old son: I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. 
Me: You can be anything you want. 
Son: (after a few seconds) I think I’ll be a mother. 
“Today, I met a girl named Unique,” I said. 
“She has an identical twin sister.”  
No one thought it was funny. 
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his  
four-year-old son standing at the fence, watching.  
Thinking it might be the perfect time to broach the whole birds-and-the- 
bees topic, he asked, “Well, son, do you have any questions?” 
“Just one,” gasped the wide-eyed boy. “How fast was that calf going when he  
hit the cow?” 
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are watching a street 
The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view, so he gets 
on a small platform.  
“Can you all see me now?” he asks them. 
They respond: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Sí.” “Ja.”  
It’s a good thing snakes and dogs don’t interbreed.  
Nobody wants a loyal snake. 
Knowing that the pastor enjoyed his drink, a hotel owner offered him a case 
of cherry brandy for Christmas in exchange for a free ad in the church  
The pastor agreed and ran this in the next issue:  
“The pastor would like to thank Patrick Smith for his kind gift of a crate  
of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given.” 

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