Newsletter and jokes 28 December 2018

Hi all 
And so the year finally draws to a close ... I think it's been a rather  
tough year in many respects, not just here but globally. One can only hope 
that 2019 will be better. 
This week has a relatively small line-up, headlined of course by Disney's 
long-overdue sequel to Mary Poppins. It opened at #2 in the US last  
weekend, behind Aquaman and ahead of Bumblebee, so we'll have to see how 
it does against those two locally. Aquaman had a very good debut here and 
might hold the top spot for another week. 
The other wide release, (yet another) remake of the Robin Hood story,  
failed to impress the critics, and audience reception was rather middling, 
so I'm not expecting fireworks from this release. 
Both Mary and Robin are releasing in 4DX as well, but note that these are 
both 2D and not 3D. You just get all the other 4DX experiences. 
On the art-house-and-related circuit, Julia Roberts seems to be moving more 
to arthouse releases in keeping with the lack of commercial roles for women 
of her age. Ben is Back examines the tough topic of a mother's love for a  
problem adult child, something which is a rather widespread problem  
India has one new release this week, the crime thriller Simmba. 
On the previews side, there are previews at selected venues all day  
Saturday for the upcoming kiddies animated film Luis & the Aliens. See the  
previews page and remember to book :-) 
Take care over New Year... especially on the roads. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 28 December 2018 
* Mary Poppins Returns (PG V) 
* Mary Poppins Returns (IMAX) (PG V) 
* Mary Poppins Returns (4DX) (PG V) 
* Robin Hood (16 LV) 
* Robin Hood (4DX) (16 LV) 
* Ben Is Back (13 LD) 
* Simmba   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My mother and father were driving when she was pulled over by the police.  
Mom was in a hurry and told the officer so. 
“I understand, ma’am,” he said. “But I have to ticket anyone over 60.” 
Mom was beside herself. “That’s discrimination!” she shouted. 
The officer calmly explained, “I meant the speed limit.” 
My daughter said something to me that I didn’t think was very polite.  
I told her she needed to say it again in a nicer way ... so she repeated it 
with a British accent. 
I walked into our family room just in time to see our kitten standing on a  
side table, sniffing my husband’s wineglass. “Get down!” I yelled. 
As she jumped away, I turned to my husband and son: “I’ve never seen her do 
My son shrugged. “Really? 
We watch her drink out of your glass all the time.” 
Our neighbour brought over a delicious home-made meal, eliciting this  
comment from my daughter: “No offense, Mom, but Kristi’s dinner makes you  
look like a really bad mother.” 
My older daughter quickly jumped to my defence. “Susan, that’s absolutely  
not true,” she said. “Kristi just makes Mom look like a really bad cook.” 
Mom texting her daughter. 
Mom: I think I keep getting messages or missed calls or something. 
Me: From who? 
Mom: Someone called Betty Low? 
Me: Um, battery low? 
Mom: That’s it! 
One morning, my wife asked our four-year-old son, Jud, what he wanted for  
“Soup,” he said. 
“Son, we don’t eat soup for breakfast. We eat soup for lunch.  
So what would you like for breakfast?” 
“Lunch,” he replied. 
My husband and I were at our lawyer’s office to sign our wills.  
After we’d reviewed them, our lawyer leaned over his desk with pen in hand 
and asked, “Now, who’s going to go first?” 
Doctor and patient: 
Doctor: How old are your kids? 
Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second 
wife, 15 and 13. 
Doctor: That’s quite the age difference! 
Patient: Well, the older ones didn’t give me any grandkids, so I made my  
A frugal widow goes to the newspaper to take out an obituary notice for her 
late husband. “How much?” she asks the fellow behind the counter. 
“One dollar per word,” he says. 
She says, “Make it ‘MacGregor died.’ ” 
“It’s a five-word minimum.” 
She nearly faints but collects herself. 
“Very well, make it ‘MacGregor died. Volvo for sale.’ ” 

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