Newsletter and jokes 4 January 2019

Hi all 
The so-called "silly season", when news is scarce and the press publishes 
all sorts of nonsense to fill the space, also produced some issues for the 
film industry, with two movies being re-rated, causing me some confusion. 
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse has been rerated down to 7-9PG, but this 
seems to only apply to the 2D/3D version and not the 4DX version, which  
makes no sense to me. I'm waiting for the FPB to recover from Christmas 
and New Year and post correct info on their site before I update things 
my end. 
Similarly, Robin Hood has now been released in a "version 2" which dropped 
the rating from 16 LV down to 13 V, while adding 2 minutes of runtime, so 
not sure how they did that re-cut. I have updated this film.  
And lastly, this week's release of Luis & the Aliens appears to be 2D  
everywhere except at one chain which says it has the 3D version, so not  
sure how that's working ...  
Anyway, we're fast running out of school holiday time, so to keep the kids 
entertained this weekend we have a very wide release of the animated  
Luis & the Aliens, which doesn't seem to have had a US release yet, having  
been made in northern Europe. 
That's joined by two smaller releases, both with Awards hopes and good 
reviews. For the guys, that would be Blindspotting, and for the gals, 
Lastly, India rolls out an off-beat Tamil actioner in Viswasam. 
No previews this week... back-to-school shopping time :-) 
Also no local Top 20 list, I guess the compilersle are enjoying a break. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 4 January 2019 
* Luis & the Aliens (PG7-9 LVPH) 
* Luis & the Aliens (3D) (PG7-9 LVPH) 
* Blindspotting (16 LVPD) 
* Dumplin' (PG10-12 P) 
* Viswasam   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (cellphone wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My kids just introduced themselves as “Let’s Go” and “We’re Late.” 
While texting with my brother about our family vacation plans, I expressed  
concern regarding my asthma and the fact that he lives at such a high  
But autocorrect sent this:  
“We have talked about coming to visit you, but between my asthma and your  
attitude, I’m not sure if that will be possible.” 
My nine-year-old and I passed a store with a sign that read  
“Watch Batteries Installed — $5.” 
He seemed confused:  
“Who would pay to watch batteries installed?” 
My son asked me what it’s like to be a dad, so I carelessly broke my phone  
screen and made him pay for a new one. 
“The man with six kids will always be happier than the man with six million  
dollars because the man with six million dollars always wants more.” 
I just got a fruit juicer because they say juicing adds years to your life.  
What they don’t tell you is the years you add juicing, you lose cleaning  
your juicer. 
Once, when my mother asked me if she had any annoying habits, I observed  
that she typically follows up statements with a question asking for  
She thought a moment and then admitted, “I do do that. Don’t I?” 
Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be  
certain it’s what you want before you commit. 
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to  
have the old man around.  
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had  
learned in seven years. 
                        —MARK TWAIN 
My parents used to stuff me with sweets when I was a kid.  
I don’t think they wanted a child; I think they wanted a piñata. 

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