Newsletter and jokes 11 January 2019

Hi all 
As the year (and schools) get going, we're in the midst of Awards Season, 
with the Golden Globes behind us and the BAFTAs and Oscars coming up. 
In a rather surprise turn of events, Bohemian Rhapsody kicked A Star is 
Born's butt at the Golden Globes, and is now eyeing futher honours when the 
Oscar noms come out.  
Similary, both The Favourite, and Vice, which did well at the GolGlos,  
are strong contenders for the BAFTAs. Both open here on 1 February. 
The Golden Globe awards are here:  
And since it is awards season, we're still pretty much in the "watch fancy 
people drink tea" mode as far as new releases go, with only one mid-size 
mainstream release, the action thriller Final Score. 
The rest of the offerings are more up-market, with Beautiful Boy, and  
Robert Redford's probable swansong The Old Man & the Gun getting the most 
exposure, (art circuit and some mainstream), with Wildlife on more limited 
arthouse-and-related release. 
Clint Eastwood, now almost 90, hits the screens next week, so we'll have two 
ageing legends on screen for what may be the last time. 
Lastly, the subcontinent rolls out two actioners, one in Tamil and one in 
No previews this week. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 11 January 2019 
* Wildlife (16 LVSD) 
* The Old Man & the Gun (PG10-12 L) 
* Beautiful Boy (16 LSD IAT) 
* Final Score (16 LV) 
* Uri: The Surgical Strike (Hindi) 
* Petta (Tamil)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
“Well, it’s one a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the  
As a kid, I got to watch my dad fix everything, and I hope to share that  
experience with my kids. That way, we can all watch my dad fix things together. 
Watching Frozen again with my daughter because we paid $19.99 to download  
it, so she’s going to watch it every day until college. 
Feeling that I’d had a very productive day, I called my mother to brag.  
“What’s it like having an awesome daughter?” I asked her. 
“I don’t know,” she replied. 
“Why don’t you ask your grandmother?” 
“When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins,  
then run around the mall looking frantic.” 
My six-year-old’s school assignment was to draw a challenge she thought she 
could overcome. So she drew herself teaching me how to use the TV remote. 
A friend knew that she’d overdone it with the gifts and chocolates last  
Easter when her six-year-old woke up to all the booty and shouted,  
“This is the best Christmas ever!” 
I couldn’t understand why my son was so outraged by his friend drinking out 
of our hose.  
“What’s the big deal?” I asked. 
“Mom,” he moaned, “he puts his mouth on it! It’s disgusting!” 
“But why do you care so much?” 
“Because I drink out of that hose!” 
My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all  
over the place.  
My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.” 
I looked at my daughter and said, “What are you doing with your life?  
Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.” 
My wife hasn’t asked me to do anything since. 
After a worship service, a mother with a fidgety seven-year-old told me how 
she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.  
About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered,  
“If you’re not quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will  
have to start his sermon all over again.” 
Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s  
name is? 
Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel?  
(Silence ensues.)  
Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are. 
Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it. 
Me: What is a vowel? 
Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh … well, oh … uh … 
Me: Close enough. 
When parents say to kids,  
“Go to your room and think about what you’ve done,”  
it’s really good practice for what you’ll do every night as an adult. 

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