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Newsletter and jokes: 8 February 2019

Hi all

Okay first up, this is a short week, with next week's releases opening
next Thursday to capitalise on Valentine's Day. Remember to order those
long-life flowers early... :-)

It's pretty much another week of "local is lekker" again, with the pick
of the bunch not even showing here, but for one week only at The Gables
in Swaziland. That would be Liyana, a live/animated cross-mix, which has
received numerous awards and rave reviews. If you're out that way, be
sure to watch. 

On the SA circuit we have two local films, starting off with historical
action crime drama Sew the Winter to My Skin, which was our official
Oscar-nomination for Best Foreign Language film. It unfortunately did not
make the cut, but is now on circuit.

That's joined by local fish-out-of-water romantic comedy Jumbo Goes to Jozi,
which was originally titled Johnny Just Come (or J-J-C).

Switching to the foreign releases, Melissa McCarthy does a genre switch to
play serious "Award"-level drama in Can You Ever Forgive Me?, which picked
up two GolGlo noms and numerous other wins and noms.

This week's horror is The Prodigy, which has scored solidly average 

And then there's horror of the OTHER kind in Holmes & Watson, which I find
difficult to write about so I'll just leave it at "what were they thinking"

The subcontinent has two offerings this week, a biopic in Telugu and a 
horror/thriller/romance (go figure) in Hindi.

On the previews side, there are select previews next Wednesday night (to 
get your groove on early for Valentine's Day) for What Men Want, the adult-
remake/re-imagining of What Women Want. See the previews page and remember
to book.

Enjoy :-)

Releasing 8 February 2019
* Holmes & Watson (13 LSVD)
* Sew the Winter to My Skin (13 NVPD)
* The Prodigy (16 LVH)
* Can You Ever Forgive Me? (16 LD)
* Jumbo Goes to Jozi
* Liyana
* Yatra
* Amavas 

Forthcoming attractions

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (Cellphone wallpaper ...)

Pick of the Week 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


When my friend and her five-year-old daughter were shopping, the little 
girl picked out a dress that she loved. Her mother shook her head. 
“That’s too expensive,” she said.

Her daughter dutifully put back the dress, but as she did so, she grumbled, 
“Well, why did you have me if you can’t afford me?”


My brother was trying to awaken his son for school one day, but the boy 
wouldn’t budge. 

“Gimme a minute,” he said. “I’m watching previews for tomorrow’s dream.”


We were driving to dinner when my five-year-old shouted, 
“Guess what! I know the F-word!”

Saying to myself, “Now it starts,” I asked him what it was.

He proudly announced, “Phonics!”


My 15-year-old niece fighting with her friend. 

“You think I can’t live without you? 
Who do you think you are, my phone charger?”


Upon being reminded to use the toilet after waking up, my four-year-old was 
thoroughly dismayed: 
“You mean I’m going to have to go potty every day for the rest of my life?!”


“So I understand how a baby can look like its mother,” my nine-year-old son 
told the school nurse. “But how can it look like its father?”

Unsure how much he knew about where babies come from, she deflected. 
“That’s a good question,” she said. “So who do you look like?”

“My uncle.”


It was the first time my four-year-old granddaughter had ever been to 
church. The celebrant came out, flanked by the lector and the deacon. 

My granddaughter leaned over to her dad and whispered, “Which one is God?”


When my five-year-old daughter came down with a virus, I took her to the 
doctor’s office. Holding her hands, I explained the sad facts: 
“The doctor is now going to draw some blood.”

Calmly and stoically, she responded, “Whose?”


I was playing a guessing game with my four-year-old grandson. 
The clue: “It’s something your mom uses to clean.” 
The correct answer: A broom.

My grandson’s answer: “A cleaning lady.”

Jumbo Goes to JoziAmavasHolmes & WatsonThe ProdigyCan You Ever Forgive Me?Sew the Winter to My SkinYatra
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