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Newsletter and jokes: 22 February 2019



Hi all

Well it's finally the Razzies and the Oscars this weekend. For the Oscars
at least, I guess the cast and crew behind Roma, The Favourite, and 
Bohemian Rhapsody can be forgiven for taking along a nice little carry bag.

The lineup locally this week is rather small, which breaks down as 
something for the kiddies, something for the masses, something for the art
circuit, and something from Bollywood.

First up is the animated The Princess and the Dragon, which has not had a
stateside release yet so reviews are scarce. While the kiddies are watching
that, the parents can catch the What Women Want gender/race switcheroo of
What Women Want, which follows basically the same story arc.

On the arthouse and related screens, we have the highly-rated 
coming-of-teen film Eighth Grade, while Bollywood offers us the third
episode in the comedy Dhamaal series.

There are isolated previews at Hyde Park for The Lego Movie 2: The Second 
Part, today (already past) and Saturday and Sunday, one screening each.
I'm guessing this is a launch event, be sure to book in advance.

Enjoy :-)


Releasing 22 February 2019

* The Princess and the Dragon (3D) (PG)
* The Princess and the Dragon (PG)
* What Men Want (16 LS)
* Eighth Grade
* Total Dhamaal

http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm 

Forthcoming attractions
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Cellphone wallpaper ...)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

During my mother’s memorial, my five-year-old granddaughter could not stop 
staring at the urn that contained her ashes.

“Is that really Great-grandma in there?” she asked her mother.

“Yes, it is.”

“Funny,” she said. “I always thought she was taller.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

At a recent wedding I attended, the groom and groomsmen stood at the altar 
in eager anticipation of the bride’s arrival. My three-year-old niece, 
sitting next to me, was also filled with anticipation.

Pointing to the men, she shouted, “I wonder which one she’ll pick?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Try as she might, our granddaughter couldn’t grasp the concept of potty 
training. Then one day … Success! 

Jumping up and down, she threw her arms in the air and yelled in 
excitement, “I went potty all by myself, and now I can go to Harvard!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

After my three-year-old begged and begged, I gave in and let her attend a 
concert with her older sister and brother. As we took our seats, I handed 
programs to the kids. 

Following the lead of her siblings, my three-year-old opened her program 
and announced, “I’ll have the chicken.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

My young son ran to me, crying. “Daddy, I stubbed my toe,” he sobbed.

“Let me kiss it and make it better,” I said. “Which toe was it?”

“The one that has no roast beef.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I saw an elderly woman struggling to get her walker out of the car, I 
jumped into action. I grabbed the walker by the handles and tussled with it 
until it came out. 

Then I opened the collapsed legs, put them in the locked position, and 
placed the walker in front of her. Voilà!

“Thank you,” she said. “But I was trying to put it into the car.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A commercial boasted that its product could help people live pain-free in
their golden years.

“Am I in my golden years?” my wife, 63, asked.

“Not at all,” I assured her. “But you are yellowing fast.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

During a visit with my grandmother, my husband noticed a birthday card from 
a local funeral parlor. “That was nice of them,” he said.

She was unimpressed. “They only want me for my body,” she grumbled.

Eighth GradeThe Princess and the DragonTotal Dhamaal
Newsletter
What Men WantThe Princess and the Dragon (3D)
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