Newsletter and jokes 22 February 2019


 
Hi all 
 
Well it's finally the Razzies and the Oscars this weekend. For the Oscars 
at least, I guess the cast and crew behind Roma, The Favourite, and  
Bohemian Rhapsody can be forgiven for taking along a nice little carry bag. 
 
The lineup locally this week is rather small, which breaks down as  
something for the kiddies, something for the masses, something for the art 
circuit, and something from Bollywood. 
 
First up is the animated The Princess and the Dragon, which has not had a 
stateside release yet so reviews are scarce. While the kiddies are watching 
that, the parents can catch the What Women Want gender/race switcheroo of 
What Women Want, which follows basically the same story arc. 
 
On the arthouse and related screens, we have the highly-rated  
coming-of-teen film Eighth Grade, while Bollywood offers us the third 
episode in the comedy Dhamaal series. 
 
There are isolated previews at Hyde Park for The Lego Movie 2: The Second  
Part, today (already past) and Saturday and Sunday, one screening each. 
I'm guessing this is a launch event, be sure to book in advance. 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
 
Releasing 22 February 2019 
 
* The Princess and the Dragon (3D) (PG) 
* The Princess and the Dragon (PG) 
* What Men Want (16 LS) 
* Eighth Grade 
* Total Dhamaal 
 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm   
 
Forthcoming attractions 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (Cellphone wallpaper ...)  
 
Pick of the Week 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm   
 
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm  
 
List of all movies showing 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating. 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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During my mother’s memorial, my five-year-old granddaughter could not stop  
staring at the urn that contained her ashes. 
 
“Is that really Great-grandma in there?” she asked her mother. 
 
“Yes, it is.” 
 
“Funny,” she said. “I always thought she was taller.” 
 
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At a recent wedding I attended, the groom and groomsmen stood at the altar  
in eager anticipation of the bride’s arrival. My three-year-old niece,  
sitting next to me, was also filled with anticipation. 
 
Pointing to the men, she shouted, “I wonder which one she’ll pick?” 
 
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Try as she might, our granddaughter couldn’t grasp the concept of potty  
training. Then one day … Success!  
 
Jumping up and down, she threw her arms in the air and yelled in  
excitement, “I went potty all by myself, and now I can go to Harvard!” 
 
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After my three-year-old begged and begged, I gave in and let her attend a  
concert with her older sister and brother. As we took our seats, I handed  
programs to the kids.  
 
Following the lead of her siblings, my three-year-old opened her program  
and announced, “I’ll have the chicken.” 
 
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My young son ran to me, crying. “Daddy, I stubbed my toe,” he sobbed. 
 
“Let me kiss it and make it better,” I said. “Which toe was it?” 
 
“The one that has no roast beef.” 
 
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When I saw an elderly woman struggling to get her walker out of the car, I  
jumped into action. I grabbed the walker by the handles and tussled with it  
until it came out.  
 
Then I opened the collapsed legs, put them in the locked position, and  
placed the walker in front of her. Voilà! 
 
“Thank you,” she said. “But I was trying to put it into the car.” 
 
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A commercial boasted that its product could help people live pain-free in 
their golden years. 
 
“Am I in my golden years?” my wife, 63, asked. 
 
“Not at all,” I assured her. “But you are yellowing fast.” 
 
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During a visit with my grandmother, my husband noticed a birthday card from  
a local funeral parlor. “That was nice of them,” he said. 
 
She was unimpressed. “They only want me for my body,” she grumbled. 
 



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