Newsletter and jokes 1 March 2019

Hi all 
Well the Razzies and the Oscars came and went ... at the Razzies, Holmes & 
Watson surprised no one with their awards, and even Donald the Trump walked 
away with two. 
At the Oscars, Green Book was a surprise choice for best film, while Roma 
and The Favourite also did well, but could not best Bohemian Rhapsody. 
I guess Rami Malek can now up his fee.  
At the cinemas this week, we have more Oscar goodness showing at the IMAXs 
only (where it belongs) in the form of the best documentary winner, Free 
Solo. Go hold your breath... :-) 
The big release this week is the sequel to The Lego Movie, being the  
imaginatively titled The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, which has decent 
ratings for the genre. 
That's joined by the adults-only rom-com Little Italy, which is aiming for 
a different audience to that which aunt Julia usually targetted.  
Lastly from Hollywood we have Tyler Perry back with another in his never- 
ending Madea series, this time poking fun at religion and death, which is  
a tough sell. Reviews were embargoed until release, make of that what you  
wish.... :-) 
Bollywood has two offerings this week, one a rom-com (probably adults only) 
and the other a war action. 
No previews this week. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 1 March 2019 
* The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (3D) (PG7-9 V) 
* The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (PG7-9 V) 
* The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (3D IMAX) (PG7-9 V) 
* A Madea Family Funeral (16 LSPDB) 
* Little Italy (16 LSD) 
* Free Solo (IMAX) 
* Luka Chuppi 
* Sonchiriya   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (>Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Entrepreneur and adventurer Richard Branson, the founder of Virgin Atlantic  
Airways, offered this advice to fellow thrill seekers:  
“If you’re embarking around the world in a hot-air balloon, don’t forget  
the toilet paper. Once, we had to wait for incoming faxes.” 
When a friend learned that I was seeing a man 15 years my junior, she  
accused me of being a cougar. 
“Why not?” I said. 
“My last two husbands were cheetahs.” 
My husband was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled  
to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds.  
My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!” 
The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.” 
When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die  
before I finish, I know how it ends. 
The line at the motor vehicle bureau inched along for almost an hour until  
the man ahead of me finally got his license.  
Studying his photo, he told the clerk, “I was standing in line so long, I  
ended  up looking pretty grouchy in this picture.” 
“It’s OK,” the clerk reassured him. “That’s how you’re going to look when  
the cops pull you over.” 
A friend of mine had an aunt who was into health food way before anybody  
else in Mississippi even considered it. She would send away for special  
beans and powders and nuts. And sure enough, she kept trim and lively and  
never got sick.  
But her family did not approve. It wasn’t how the Lord meant folks to eat.  
At a ripe old age, this aunt went into a coma. 
“See,” said her family, “when her natural time came, her mind passed, but  
her body was too healthy to go.” 
My brother was having a tough time losing weight. Our sister thought he  
should cut back gradually, so one day she asked,  
“Mike, would you like to split a doughnut with me?” 
Mike answered, “Want to split two?” 
I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file  
named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won’t find them. 

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