Newsletter and jokes 8 March 2019

Hi all 
Captain Marvel hits the screens worldwide today, and the industry is hoping 
for good things from her, to make up for what has been a largely  
unspectacular year so far at the box office. They're hoping for it to beat 
at least USD 139 million (if not 150) in the States, which would mean that  
it will single-handedly earn more in a weekend than all the other films  
did together on any weekend this year. 
The remainder of the local lineup is very niche, no one is going to try and 
compete head-on with Captain Marvel. First up is a local very-adult film  
Red Room, about sexual abuse and the sex trade, which is really mostly  
unexplored territory for the local industry and the market the film is  
aimed at, so  it will be interesting to see what audiences think. 
At the Nouveaus and similar, we have an off-beat crime drama, White Boy  
Rick, with Matthew McConaughey again in the off-beat roles he seems to  
enjoy lately. 
Bollywood rolls out a remake of a Spanish film, the detective thriller  
On the previews side there are isolated previews on Sunday for the upcoming 
kiddies animated film Wonder Park. See the Previews page and remember to  
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 8 March 2019 
* Captain Marvel (3D) (13 LV) 
* Captain Marvel (13 LV) 
* Captain Marvel (3D IMAX) (13 LV) 
* Captain Marvel (4DX) (13 LV) 
* White Boy Rick (16 LVD) 
* Red Room (16 LSVD) 
* Badla (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (>Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
I was visiting my mother one day, when she passed the sweets dish full of  
chocolates and took one for herself. 
“I thought your doctor told you to stop eating sweets,” I said. 
“Oh, I don’t have to listen to him anymore,” she replied. 
“Why not?” 
“He died.” 
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his  
“Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said. 
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers." 
I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill in a  
questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?” 
My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.” 
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he  
could hop high, the zookeepers put up a 10-foot fence. Didn’t matter ... he 
was out the next morning, hopping about.  
So a 20-foot fence was put up. Again, he got out. When the fence was 40  
feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo,  
“How high do you think they’ll go?”  
The kangaroo said, “A thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at  
My granddaughter loves my Chihuahua puppy so much, she asked,  
“When you die, can I have Romeo?” 
“Of course,” I said. 
She was thrilled. “Oh, I can’t wait!” 
My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended  
purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted  
spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both.  
When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic  
utensil caddy in my kitchen. 
The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in  
its original packaging at a rummage sale. 
It’s a poop-scoop. 
Wandering inside a pet store, I stopped in front of a birdcage to admire a  
parakeet. We watched each other for a few minutes before it asked, 
“Can’t you talk?” 
“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that  
someone in the house is happy to see you.” 
If a company’s most valuable resource is its people, how come the employees  
aren’t locked up, but the toilet paper is in a reinforced steel box with a  
lock, bolted to the stall? 

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