Newsletter and jokes 20 March 2019

Hi all 
For those of you blessed with a long weekend, enjoy :-) 
Remember, if Eskom is making you feel powerless at the moment, your turn 
to show who is in charge is coming on 8 May .... use it wisely. 
It's holiday time so we have a mixed bag of new movies, with a somewhat  
adult bias. Starting with the family fare, we have The Bookshop, which is 
on at the Nouveaus-and-similar venues, and for the slightly older kids, 
The Kid Who Would Be King. 
The other three Hollywood offerings are for adults, starting with the  
puzzle-cum-horror Escape Room, which is joined by not one but two violent 
tales of revenge featuring well known actors ... first up is Liam Neeson 
in Cold Pursuit, and then Nicole Kidman in Destroyer. 
Lastly Bollywood also has a superhero/crime-fighting action comedy in the  
form of Mard Ko Dard Nahin Hota. 
So this week is all about vengeance ... you can pretend it's Eskom up there 
on the screen.... :-) 
On the previews side, there are isolated previews for Hollywood/Bollywood 
crossover Hotel Mumbai, as well as Jordan Peele's followup to Get Out,  
namely Us, which opens Stateside this week and they're expecting it to beat 
Captain Marvel.... Yes, it's another horror.  
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 20 March 2019 
* Escape Room (16 LVD) 
* Destroyer (16 LSVD) 
* Cold Pursuit (16 LVD) 
* The Kid Who Would Be King (13 VH) 
* The Bookshop (PG7-9 D) 
* Mard Ko Dard Nahin Hota (13 V) (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (>Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will  
microwave that fish in the work break room. 
Religion is generally a verboten topic for everyone at work, except for  
Larry. Recently, after he steered yet another conversation toward the  
subject, a coworker whispered to me,  
“That Larry — he always has to put his two saints in.” 
While tallying up a customer’s groceries, I sang along with the music  
playing over the PA system.  
Suddenly the customer, a sweet elderly woman, asked,  
“What did you do with the money?” 
“What money?” I asked. 
“The money your parents gave you for singing lessons.” 
I just realized that “Let me check my calendar” is the adult version of  
“Let me ask my mom.” 
“Last night, I blew 5,000 bucks on a reincarnation seminar.  
I figured, what the hell; you only live once.” 
Kramer vs. Kramer was a Dustin Hoffman/Meryl Streep film about a bitter  
divorce. During a break in the filming of the courtroom scene, Dustin  
Hoffman approached an actual court reporter who had been hired to sit  
behind the stenography machine.  
“Is this what you do?” he asked. “Divorces?” 
“Oh, I did them for years,” the woman said. “But I burned out. I couldn’t  
do it anymore. It was just too painful.”  
She added cheerfully, “I really love what I’m doing now.” 
“What?” Hoffman asked. 
The best ever legal advice spotted on a billboard came from an ad for the  
law office of Larry L. Archie:  
“Just because you did it doesn’t mean you’re guilty.” 
Boss to line worker: I need you to do such and such. 
Line worker: You didn’t say the p word. 
Boss: Paycheck. 

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