Newsletter and jokes 5 April 2019

Hi all 
We're heading towards the US "summer blockbuster" season and the first 
warmup film arrives today. Aimed at a slightly younger audience than the  
typical PG-13 superhero movie, and going for the laughs, it is expected to 
land with a bang globally. 
The rest of the main-stream lineup is adults only, which I suppose is to  
be expected post-holidays. First up is local rom-com Love Lives Here, while 
we have another local film, a modern and Afrikaans adaptation of Anton  
Chekhov's novel The Seagull, releasing as Die Seemeeu, which is showing 
at the art-circuit-and-similar venues. 
Also on the same limited circuit is an offbeat crime-action-drama called 
Galveston, which has picked up two nominations but no US release yet. 
Lastly, Bollywood has a spy action thriller in the form of "Romeo. Akbar.  
Walter." Clearly a man with many personalities :-) 
On the previews side, there are Girls Night Out previews next Wednesday and 
Thursday evenings for the upcoming comedy Little, and a solitary preview  
for kiddies animated film The Queen's Corgi on Saturday. See the previews 
page and remember to book. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 5 April 2019 
* Shazam! (3D) (PG LVH IAT) 
* Shazam! (PG LVH IAT) 
* Shazam! (3D IMAX) (PG LVH IAT) 
* Shazam! (4DX) (PG LVH IAT) 
* Love Lives Here (16 LSD) 
* Die Seemeeu (16 LSVD IAT) 
* Galveston (16 LNSVD) 
* Romeo. Akbar. Walter. (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (>Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
One of the most popular questions asked at our family restaurant is  
“What’s good tonight?” 
Now, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good.  
So I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question  
posed to my husband. 
He calmly replied, “Anything over R149.95.” 
A new salesman saw the nameplate on my desk and said, “Sibyl Short. That’s  
easy to remember, since you’re short.”  
The next time he visited our office, he approached me with a big smile and  
stated with great confidence, “Hello, Ms. Stout!” 
After giving a guided tour of Old Key West, I reminded my clients to catch  
the great sunset at 7:15. 
“I can’t make it tonight,” a woman said. “When’s the next sunset?” 
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company  
videos viral. 
I work for the transportation department at a university.  
One day, a student came in to buy a parking permit.  
“What’s your license plate number?” I asked. 
She responded, “Front or back?” 
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take  
her dog on board. 
“Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”  
I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog  
to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. 
The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by 
We were making leaflets for a local church, and the client wanted a logo  
designed with Earth being shielded by the hand of God.  
I sent the client a proof.  
Shortly thereafter, I got a call. 
“The hand looks too human. Please use a hand that looks more like God’s.” 

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