Newsletter and jokes 5 April 2019


 
Hi all 
 
We're heading towards the US "summer blockbuster" season and the first 
warmup film arrives today. Aimed at a slightly younger audience than the  
typical PG-13 superhero movie, and going for the laughs, it is expected to 
land with a bang globally. 
 
The rest of the main-stream lineup is adults only, which I suppose is to  
be expected post-holidays. First up is local rom-com Love Lives Here, while 
we have another local film, a modern and Afrikaans adaptation of Anton  
Chekhov's novel The Seagull, releasing as Die Seemeeu, which is showing 
at the art-circuit-and-similar venues. 
 
Also on the same limited circuit is an offbeat crime-action-drama called 
Galveston, which has picked up two nominations but no US release yet. 
 
Lastly, Bollywood has a spy action thriller in the form of "Romeo. Akbar.  
Walter." Clearly a man with many personalities :-) 
 
On the previews side, there are Girls Night Out previews next Wednesday and 
Thursday evenings for the upcoming comedy Little, and a solitary preview  
for kiddies animated film The Queen's Corgi on Saturday. See the previews 
page and remember to book. 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Releasing 5 April 2019 
 
* Shazam! (3D) (PG LVH IAT) 
* Shazam! (PG LVH IAT) 
* Shazam! (3D IMAX) (PG LVH IAT) 
* Shazam! (4DX) (PG LVH IAT) 
* Love Lives Here (16 LSD) 
* Die Seemeeu (16 LSVD IAT) 
* Galveston (16 LNSVD) 
* Romeo. Akbar. Walter. (Hindi) 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm  
 
Forthcoming attractions 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (>Full 
 
Pick of the Week 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm  
 
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm  
 
List of all movies showing 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating. 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
One of the most popular questions asked at our family restaurant is  
“What’s good tonight?” 
 
Now, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good.  
So I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question  
posed to my husband. 
 
He calmly replied, “Anything over R149.95.” 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
A new salesman saw the nameplate on my desk and said, “Sibyl Short. That’s  
easy to remember, since you’re short.”  
 
The next time he visited our office, he approached me with a big smile and  
stated with great confidence, “Hello, Ms. Stout!” 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
After giving a guided tour of Old Key West, I reminded my clients to catch  
the great sunset at 7:15. 
 
“I can’t make it tonight,” a woman said. “When’s the next sunset?” 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company  
videos viral. 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
I work for the transportation department at a university.  
 
One day, a student came in to buy a parking permit.  
 
“What’s your license plate number?” I asked. 
 
She responded, “Front or back?” 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take  
her dog on board. 
 
“Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.”  
 
I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog  
to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. 
 
The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by 
tomorrow!” 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
We were making leaflets for a local church, and the client wanted a logo  
designed with Earth being shielded by the hand of God.  
 
I sent the client a proof.  
 
Shortly thereafter, I got a call. 
 
“The hand looks too human. Please use a hand that looks more like God’s.” 
 
 



Xax International logo
 Xax International
 2019
 All rights reserved.