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Newsletter and jokes: 26 April 2019

Hi all

So the Avengers hit the screens worldwide today, allegedly for the last 
time, but if I know anything about Hollywood, they'll find a way to make
another one.

Globally, the film is looking extremely impressive, helped no doubt by the 
stellar reviews from the press. They knew the opening was going to be big,
the question was, just how big. Already, returns from the East (Australia
etc.) were all single-day records.

As for the US ... from Boxofficemojo:

"Before a single frame outside of the trailers had been seen, Disney and 
Marvel Studios's Avengers: Endgame began breaking records. In its first 
seven days of pre-sales, the film sold "five times" as many tickets as 
Avengers: Infinity War according to online ticket retailer and 
since then it remains the company's top pre-seller of all-time. Further 
more, the film will open in a record number of theaters, debuting in over 
4,600 locations this weekend with thousands of showings already sold out, 
and several locations set to remain open 24 hours a day throughout the 

So they're expecting up to 300 M$ in the US, and up to 900 M$ globally, 
shattering just about every opening record there is.

Note that the film has a 183 minutes (3 hours) run time plus all the 
pre-movie bits ... go to the toilet first :-)

The rest of the lineup is much more subdued, being arthouse-and-similar

Going alphabetically, a new local release takes a look at Bram Fischer and
the famous 1963 Rivonia treason trial. Sticking with troubled times, 
Keira Knightley takes us back to just after WW II Germany, for a tangled
domestic drama in Aftermath, while the last film is set in India, but
not Bollywood, rather a faith-based film about a missionary working with

Enjoy :-)

Releasing 26 April 2019

* Avengers: Endgame (3D) PG10-12 LVD
* Avengers: Endgame PG10-12 LVD
* Avengers: Endgame (3D IMAX) PG10-12 LVD
* Avengers: Endgame (4DX) PG10-12 LVD
* The Aftermath 16 LNSVP
* An Act of Defiance PG10-12 VPD
* The Least of These: The Graham Staines Story 13 VP 

Forthcoming attractions

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (Full HD wallpaper ...)

Pick of the Week 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


When my wife and I argue, we’re like a band in concert: We start with some 
new stuff, and then we roll out our greatest hits.


I was alone in an elevator when a girl stepped in with a phone pressed to 
her ear. “I have to go,” she told the person on the other end. “There’s a 
cute guy standing here.” 

Before I could react, she turned to me and said, 
“Sorry for lying. I just wanted to end that conversation.”


My fiancé and I went to a counselor to work on our communication issues. 

Using herself as an example, the counselor crossed her legs and her arms 
and exhaled loudly. I was about to say she was showing signs of 
frustration, but my fiancé beat me to it, yelling, 

“I’ve got it! You’re constipated!”


Done with dating sites, I’m now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at 
least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza.


If you have a good date, it’s nice to text afterward to say thanks. 

But if the person was totally lame, it’s fun to text “unsubscribe.”


My seatmate on a flight was a woman. 

Ever the charmer, I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting 
next to good-looking men?”

“Yes,” she said, “but I wasn’t willing to pay.”


What my girlfriend thought, first four dates:

1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. OK, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.


My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are.

But I laugh more.


I can’t wait to get married and communicate my disdain solely through 
aggressive dishwashing.


I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. 
The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer 

“Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. 
As she input the password, she muttered, 
“I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”


Before I got married, I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the 
milk back in the fridge.

The AftermathThe Least of These: The Graham Staines StoryAvengers: Endgame (3D)
Avengers: Endgame (3D IMAX)Avengers: Endgame (4DX)Avengers: EndgameAn Act of Defiance
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