Newsletter and jokes 26 April 2019

Hi all 
So the Avengers hit the screens worldwide today, allegedly for the last  
time, but if I know anything about Hollywood, they'll find a way to make 
another one. 
Globally, the film is looking extremely impressive, helped no doubt by the  
stellar reviews from the press. They knew the opening was going to be big, 
the question was, just how big. Already, returns from the East (Australia 
etc.) were all single-day records. 
As for the US ... from Boxofficemojo: 
"Before a single frame outside of the trailers had been seen, Disney and  
Marvel Studios's Avengers: Endgame began breaking records. In its first  
seven days of pre-sales, the film sold "five times" as many tickets as  
Avengers: Infinity War according to online ticket retailer and  
since then it remains the company's top pre-seller of all-time. Further  
more, the film will open in a record number of theaters, debuting in over  
4,600 locations this weekend with thousands of showings already sold out,  
and several locations set to remain open 24 hours a day throughout the  
So they're expecting up to 300 M$ in the US, and up to 900 M$ globally,  
shattering just about every opening record there is. 
Note that the film has a 183 minutes (3 hours) run time plus all the  
pre-movie bits ... go to the toilet first :-) 
The rest of the lineup is much more subdued, being arthouse-and-similar 
Going alphabetically, a new local release takes a look at Bram Fischer and 
the famous 1963 Rivonia treason trial. Sticking with troubled times,  
Keira Knightley takes us back to just after WW II Germany, for a tangled 
domestic drama in Aftermath, while the last film is set in India, but 
not Bollywood, rather a faith-based film about a missionary working with 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 26 April 2019 
* Avengers: Endgame (3D) PG10-12 LVD 
* Avengers: Endgame PG10-12 LVD 
* Avengers: Endgame (3D IMAX) PG10-12 LVD 
* Avengers: Endgame (4DX) PG10-12 LVD 
* The Aftermath 16 LNSVP 
* An Act of Defiance PG10-12 VPD 
* The Least of These: The Graham Staines Story 13 VP   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
When my wife and I argue, we’re like a band in concert: We start with some  
new stuff, and then we roll out our greatest hits. 
I was alone in an elevator when a girl stepped in with a phone pressed to  
her ear. “I have to go,” she told the person on the other end. “There’s a  
cute guy standing here.”  
Before I could react, she turned to me and said,  
“Sorry for lying. I just wanted to end that conversation.” 
My fiancé and I went to a counselor to work on our communication issues.  
Using herself as an example, the counselor crossed her legs and her arms  
and exhaled loudly. I was about to say she was showing signs of  
frustration, but my fiancé beat me to it, yelling,  
“I’ve got it! You’re constipated!” 
Done with dating sites, I’m now focusing on pizza delivery guys because at  
least I know they have a job, a car, and pizza. 
If you have a good date, it’s nice to text afterward to say thanks.  
But if the person was totally lame, it’s fun to text “unsubscribe.” 
My seatmate on a flight was a woman.  
Ever the charmer, I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting  
next to good-looking men?” 
“Yes,” she said, “but I wasn’t willing to pay.” 
What my girlfriend thought, first four dates: 
1. Nice shirt. 
2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 
3. OK, first shirt again. 
4. He has two shirts. 
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. 
But I laugh more. 
I can’t wait to get married and communicate my disdain solely through  
aggressive dishwashing. 
I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection.  
The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer  
“Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back. 
We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in.  
As she input the password, she muttered,  
“I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.” 
Before I got married, I didn’t even know there was a wrong way to put the  
milk back in the fridge. 

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