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Newsletter and jokes: 17 May 2019



Hi all

Exam season is in full swing again, but never fear, Hollywood has what you 
need to help destress :-)

We've got two big releases this week, one for the kids and one for the 
adults. First up is Pokémon Detective Pikachu, which set some records last
week stateside as the biggest video-game-to-movie release ever, so it is
likely to do well here too.

For the adults, we have that most curious of things, a film starring 
Keanu Reeves (John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum ) that has received solid 
thumbs-up from the professional critics. It also stars Halle Berry who has 
been quiet lately.

The other smaller releases include a Ukranian animated film (The Stolen 
Princess) for the little ones, and this week's arthouse-and-related release
Gloria Bell.

The Indian subcontinent has two offerings, the rom-com De De Pyaar De in 
Hindi, and another action rom-com Mr.Local in Tamil.

On the previews side, there are premieres/previews at selected venues
next Thursday evening for both Disney's live-action version of Aladdin, and
Long Shot, starring Charlize. Suggest you book early (like NOW) for 
Aladdin .... see the Previews page for venues.


Enjoy :-)

Releasing 17 May 2019

* Pokémon Detective Pikachu (PG7-9 V)
* Pokémon Detective Pikachu (3D) (PG7-9 V)
* The Stolen Princess (PG7-9 V)
* John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (18 LV)
* John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (IMAX) (18 LV)
* John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (4DX) (18 LV)
* Gloria Bell (16 LNSD)
* De De Pyaar De (Hindi)
* Mr.Local (Tamil)

http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm 

Forthcoming attractions
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm

Updated the pic and quote on the home page
http://www.moviesite.co.za/

This Week's pinup
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full HD wallpaper ...)

Pick of the Week
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm

List of all movies showing
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm

Same list sorted by Age Restriction
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

While filling in a credit card application, my friend came upon this 
question: “What is your source of income?”

She wrote: “ATM.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I spotted several pairs of men’s Levis at a garage sale. They were sizes 
30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. 
So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head.

“I’m still wearing the 33s,” he said. “Come back next year.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene: Me using the Siri app on my iPhone.

Me: Siri, call my wife.

Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts.

Me: Samantha Gibbs is my wife.

Siri: I’ve added Samantha Gibbs as your wife.

Me: Call my wife.

Siri: Which wife?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Instead of saying “like,” I now say “such as” because I such as to sound 
smart.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The water I was heating for pasta refused to boil, and if my 12-year-old 
son was right, I wasn’t helping by constantly checking on it.

“It’s like that old saying,” he said. “‘A watched website never loads.’”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some friends joined my husband and me at a diner. Everyone ordered regular 
coffee except for Joe, who asked for decaf. The waitress returned a few 
minutes later and set all the coffees down on the table.

“Which one’s the decaf?” Joe asked.

The waitress picked up a cup, took a sip, and said, “This one.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The food at the sandwich shop I frequent is good, but any deviation from 
the norm throws the staff. 

I once told a clerk that I wanted only half a sandwich. 

His reply: “What am I going to do with the other half?”

A week later, when I told another clerk the same thing, she responded, 
“Do you want the top or the bottom?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A long line leading to the ladies’ room greeted my friend’s wife. Since 
desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend took her into the 
empty men’s room, then stood guard. 

When she exited a few minutes later, a man waiting his turn called out, 
“I hope you remembered to put up the toilet seat.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

After an impromptu song, our pastor asked the church pianist, 
“What key did I sing that in?”

The pianist replied, “Most of them.”




John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (IMAX)De De Pyaar DeJohn Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (4DX)Gloria BellJohn Wick: Chapter 3 - ParabellumPokémon Detective Pikachu
Newsletter
Mr.LocalPokémon Detective Pikachu (3D)The Stolen Princess
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