Newsletter and jokes 31 May 2019

Hi all 
Godzilla is back for a monster showdown this week. I suppose it will  
provide a welcome break from the exam pressures. 
The rest of the line-up is a bit of a mixed bag, ranging from the Not 
Benevolent alien visitor in Brightburn, to the other costumed humans 
wanting to get their own back in Supercon. 
Sticking with the dark side of life, bad-marriage-gone-worse thriller 
Til Death Do Us Part takes the marriage vows a little too literally, 
while the sole light relief this week is the ankle-biter animated story 
The Big Trip. 
On the Indian market, we have the political action thriller NGK, in Tamil. 
From a quality point of view, most of this week's new releases failed to 
impress the critics, so I guess it's a "holding pattern" for next week  
when the next blockbuster, Dark Phoenix, arrives. 
Speaking of which, yes there are previews nearly all over next Thursday 
night ... see the previews page and remember to book. 
For the more discerning viewer, we have both art on screen, and ballet: 
Young Picasso is on at the Nouveaus and Gateway, and the ballet La Bayadère 
at Gateway. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 31 May 2019 
* Godzilla: King of the Monsters (3D) (13 LV) 
* Godzilla: King of the Monsters (13 LV) 
* Godzilla: King of the Monsters (3D IMAX) (13 LV) 
* Brightburn (16 LV) 
* NGK 
* Til Death Do Us Part (16 V SV) 
* The Big Trip (3D) (A) 
* The Big Trip (A) 
* Supercon (18 LSPD)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.  
“It’s taped under the modem,” I told him. 
After three failed attempts to log on, he asked,  
“Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?” 
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to  
see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking. 
During my third-grade music class, my question,  
“Does anyone know what a polka is?” was met with blank stares.  
So, prompting them, I asked, “Polka is a type of what?” 
One student answered, “Dot.” 
“Why did you choose a college so far from home?” I asked my British student. 
She explained that she’d fallen in love with the American West by watching  
Westerns. So when it came time to apply for colleges, she Googled  
“Western universities.” 
And that’s how she ended up here, at Western Carolina University. 
Q: What’s the name of a six-sided polygon? 
A: Sixagon. 
Q: What part of the body is affected by glandular fever? 
A: The glandular. 
Q: In The Tempest, why does Ariel sing in Gonzalo’s ear? 
A: She’s a mermaid and wants to be human. 
Q: In comparison with large hydrocarbons, how would you describe small  
A: They’re smaller. 
Q: Who were the Bolsheviks? 
A: A Russian ballet company. 
My grandson came home from kindergarten in tears.  
“What’s wrong?” his mother asked. 
“The teacher told us to eat the popcorn and then we could read,” he said. 
Now sobbing, he said, “I ate the popcorn, and I still can’t read!” 
During a conference, my high school principal insulted my immigrant  
mother’s English. Mom didn’t get upset.  
Instead, she smiled politely as she delivered this punch to the gut:  
“I’m sorry. Sometimes I get English mixed up with the other six languages  
I speak.” 

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