Newsletter and jokes 7 June 2019

Hi all 
The Men in Black are Back with more over the top action, to provide some 
escapist fun for the long weekend and holidays.  
There's more family fare in the form of the sequel to the doggie- 
reincarnation tale from 2017, this time labelled A Dog's Journey. 
Rounding out the family offerings is a new local film in limited release, 
which turns a suburban housewife into a super crime fighter. 
And the art-ciruit-and-related, we have a biopic about famous Soviet-era 
ballerina Rudolf Nureyev, and his defection to the West in 1961. 
On the previews side, there are previews next Thursday for the Luc Besson 
killer film Anna, and previews Sat/Sun/Mon all over for The Secret Life of  
Pets, which opens officially next week. 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 14 June 2019 
* Men in Black: International (3D) (PG10-12 LVH) 
* Men in Black: International (PG10-12 LVH) 
* Men in Black: International (3D IMAX) (PG10-12 LVH) 
* Men in Black: International (4DX) (PG10-12 LVH) 
* A Dog's Journey (PG7-9 VD) 
* The White Crow (16 LSD) 
* The Adventures of Supermama (PG10-12 VPD)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
When one girl had finished the English portion of the state exam, she  
removed her glasses and started the maths questions.  
“Why aren’t you wearing your glasses?” she was asked. 
She responded, “My glasses are for reading, not maths.” 
For Columbus Day, I assigned my third-grade class the task of drawing one  
of Columbus’s three ships. I had no sooner sat down when a boy came up with 
his paper, which had a lone dot in the middle. 
“What’s that?” I asked. 
He replied, “That’s Columbus, way out to sea.” 
As I welcomed my first-grade students into the classroom, one little girl  
noticed my polka-dot blouse and paid me the ultimate first-grade  
“Oh, you look so beautiful -- just like a clown.” 
I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit.  
My mom e-mailed all my teachers saying that I would be late to school  
because of “morning sickness.” 
Thanks, Mom. 
The fish tank in my classroom was brimming with guppies. So I told the kids  
they could have some as long as they brought in a note from home.  
That’s how I received the following:  
“Dear Mrs. Swanson, Would you please give Johnny as many guppies as you can 
spear, as we are going to bread them.” 
Scene: A sixth-grade class 
Teacher: What are the harmful environmental effects of oil on fish? 
Student: When my mom opened a can of sardines last night, it was full of  
oil and all the sardines were dead. 
During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have  
taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject  
Henry 8 instead of Henry VIII. 
“We have only regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained.  
“No Roman numerals.” 
I recently asked a student where his homework was.  
He replied, “It’s still in my pencil.” 
“Don’t do that,” I said when one of my first graders playfully draped a  
dollar bill over his eyes. “Money is full of germs.” 
“It is?” he asked. 
“Yes, it’s very dirty.” 
He thought about it a moment.  
“Is that why they call people who have a lot of it ‘filthy rich’?” 
When her child’s towel was stolen during a school swimming trip, an irate  
parent demanded of my mother,  
“What kind of juvenile delinquents are in class with my child?!” 
“I’m sure it was taken accidentally,” said Mom. “What does it look like?” 
“It’s white,” said the parent. 
“And it says Holiday Inn on it.” 

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