Newsletter and jokes 28 June 2019

Hi all 
And the year is half gone (or, just six months to Christmas :-) ) 
It's holiday time so we have some more animated fun for the little ones, in 
the form of The Secret Life of Pets 2. That's joined by a new Kwallywood 
family film aimed at the young teens, titled Kings of Mulberry Street.  
For the adults on the mainstream circuit we have another episode in the  
long-running Conjuring series, with Annabelle Comes Home, while this week's 
arthouse-and-related related takes a look at the bizarre bank robbery in 
Stockholm that gave rise to the so-called "Stockholm Syndrome," where 
captives make friends with their captors. 
Lastly Bollywood rolls out a crime-drama-thriller looking at a recent 
real-life rape and murder case. 
There are no previews this week, but Spider-Man: Far From Home opens on  
Wednesday in line with the USA and their 4th July holiday. Should be fun! 
Enjoy :-) 
Releasing 28 June 2019 
* The Secret Life of Pets 2 (3D) (PG) 
* The Secret Life of Pets 2 (PG) 
* Kings of Mulberry Street (13 LV) 
* Annabelle Comes Home (16 LVH) 
* Stockholm (13 LV) 
* Article 15   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
A gentleman calls our office with questions about an upcoming test he is  
scheduled for, and we talk at length about the procedure. 
Patient: I’m sorry to have so many questions. 
Me: Oh, that’s no problem. You can always call and ask for clarification  
when you need it. 
Patient: Thank you very much, Clara Fication! You’ve been very helpful. 
When I went to the hospital to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I  
was a complete basket case—sobbing, gagging, petrified ... the works.  
But my doctor knew how to calm me down. 
“Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me.  
“I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.” 
As I leaned in to check her eyes, my older patient got a little frisky. 
“You remind me of my third husband,” she said coyly. 
“Third husband?” I asked. “How many have you had?” 
When I stepped on the scale at my doctor’s office, I was surprised to see  
that I weighed 144 pounds.  
“Why don’t you just take off that last four?” I joked to the nurse’s aide  
as she made a notation on my chart. 
A few moments later, my doctor came in and flipped through the chart. 
“I see you’ve lost weight,” he said. “You’re down to 14 pounds.” 
I prescribed an inhaler for a patient’s cat allergy.  
He came back a week later saying he was none the better.  
Turns out, he was spraying the inhaler on the cat. 
My ultrasound technician told me about a colleague’s patient. Her doctor  
had told her she might be having twins, and the young mother-to-be seemed  
But after he examined her, the technician assured her,  
“You’re not having twins. There’s only one baby in there.” 
The young woman sighed with relief. “Oh, thank goodness,” she said.  
“I really don’t think I could have stood being pregnant for 18 months.” 
My patient announced she had good news ... and bad.  
“The medicine for my earache worked,” she said. 
“What’s the bad news?” I asked. 
“It tasted awful.” 
Since she was feeling better, I didn’t have the heart to tell her they’re  
called eardrops for a reason. 
During surgery, my fellow resident bumped heads with the surgeon. 
“Ah, Dr. Jones, a meeting of the minds,” he said, laughing it off. 
The surgeon mumbled, “Yes. And I felt so alone.” 

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