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Newsletter and jokes: 5 July 2019

Hi all

It's the tail end of the winter break, and with people getting back into
school mode, there's good things on offer...

The big release this week sees Spider-Man back in action, which has
garnered high praise from press and public alike, so enjoy....

As a bit of counter-programming we have a rom-com-music-tribute cross-over
in the form of Yesterday, which channels the Beatles into a love story.
There's top talent behind the camera as well. And of course the music...

This week's not-quite-horror-but-tense-nontheless is Greta, which is on
limited release.

Lastly, Bollywood rolls out an offbeat romance with Malaal.

On the previews side, there are previews at selected venues next Thursday,
for Stuber, an action comedy about a bizarre Uber trip. See the previews
page and remember to book.

Enjoy :-)

Released 3 July 2019

* Spider-Man: Far From Home (3D) (PG10-12 LV)
* Spider-Man: Far From Home (PG10-12 LV)
* Spider-Man: Far From Home (3D IMAX) (PG10-12 LV)
* Spider-Man: Far From Home (4DX) (PG10-12 LV)

Released 5 July 2019

* Yesterday (PG10-12 LD)
* Greta (16 LV)
* Malaal 

Forthcoming attractions

Updated the pic and quote on the home page

This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)

Pick of the Week 

All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.

List of all movies showing

Same list sorted by Age Restriction

Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.

Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-)

Cheers, Ian


A nervous patient arrived at our dental office for root canal surgery. 
He was brought into the examination room and then left alone for a few 

When the dentist returned, he found the patient standing next to a tray of 
surgical equipment. “What are you doing?” the dentist asked.

The patient replied, “Removing the ones I don’t like.”


My teenage patient’s mother was concerned. 
“He must have a temperature,” she said. “He hasn’t taken our motorcycle out
all day.”

“Let me ask you,” I said. “Do you have a thermometer?”

“No,” she said. “A Kawasaki.”


Scene: Overheard at our hospital

Phlebotomist: I’m here to draw some blood.

Patient: But I just received blood yesterday.

Phlebotomist: You didn’t think you’d get to keep it, did you?


As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, 
I knew the end was in sight.


“Here,” says the nurse, handing the patient a urine specimen container. 
“The bathroom’s over there.”

A few minutes later, the patient comes out of the bathroom.

“Thanks,” he says, returning the empty container. 
“But there was a toilet in there, so I didn’t need this after all.”


Posted in a dental office: “Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too.”


I’d never had surgery, and I was nervous. 

“This is a very simple, non-invasive procedure,” the anesthesiologist 
reassured me. 

I felt better, until...

“Heck,” he continued, “you have a better chance of dying from the 
anesthesia than the surgery itself.”

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