Newsletter and jokes 19 July 2019


 
Hi all 
 
So Disney's redone Lion King has hit the cinemas. It will be interesing to 
see how it does. The "look" is splendid but reviewers have complained that 
it somehow lacks the magic of the original. Perhaps expectations were too  
high. On the other hand, there's a whole new generation of kids who may 
not have seen the original and for who it will be "all-new". The excellent 
realism, and 3D, will add to the effect. 
 
In deference to the power of the king, there's only one other mainstream 
release, aimed at the other end of the market. This is the gritty crime 
thriller Skin. 
 
The subcontinent has a new Tamil film on offer, also a crime thriller. 
 
On the previews side, there are a previews at a few selected venues for the  
creepy thriller Crawl, next Thursday. See the previews page and remember 
to book :-) 
 
Enjoy :-) 
 
Released 19 July 2019 
 
* The Lion King (3D) (PG V) 
* The Lion King (PG V) 
* The Lion King (3D IMAX) (PG V) 
* The Lion King (4DX) (PG V) 
* Skin (16 LNSVPD) 
* Kadaram Kondan (Tamil) 
 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/new.htm  
 
Forthcoming attractions 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/4thcome.htm  
 
Updated the pic and quote on the home page 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/  
 
This Week's pinup 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pinup.html (full 
 
Pick of the Week 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/pick.htm  
 
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first. 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/where/previews.htm  
 
List of all movies showing 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/reviews.htm  
 
Same list sorted by Age Restriction 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/showingbyage.htm  
 
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating. 
http://www.moviesite.co.za/topten.htm  
 
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
 
Cheers, Ian 
 
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I asked my dad, a Navy guy, how far from land his ship was while on the  
ocean.  
 
“We were always just a few miles from land,” he said. “Straight down.” 
 
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Think your yearly review was nasty? These snarky notes are (allegedly) from 
U.K. military officers’ reports. 
 
* His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity. 
* This officer can be likened to a small puppy — he runs around excitedly,  
leaving little messes for other people to clean up. 
* Couldn’t organize a woodpeckers’ picnic in Sherwood Forest. 
* If two people are talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one. 
 
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I asked a scruffy-looking soldier if he’d shaved.  
He answered, “Yes, Top Sergeant.”  
 
I got into his face and said, 
“OK, tomorrow I want you to stand closer to your razor.” 
 
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My five-year-old brother’s eyes grew large as our father opened the top  
drawer of his dresser. Seeing John’s reaction, Dad took out his Purple  
Heart and explained how he’d earned it during the Korean War.  
 
John was so impressed, the only thing he managed to say was,  
“Dad, are all those socks really yours?” 
 
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While I was at the local Veteran's Association for a checkup, my counselor  
asked if I was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.  
I said I thought I was. 
 
“Are you having nightmares?” he asked. 
 
“Yes.” 
 
“What are they?” 
 
“That I reenlisted in the Navy.” 
 
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When my friend’s husband was deployed, he often sent her romantic and  
flirty gifts.  
One day, a package arrived containing a very small leather top.  
 
After much wiggling and squirming to get into it, she struck a pose, took a 
selfie, and sent it to him. Soon after, she received his reply:  
 
“Why are you wearing the leather steering wheel cover I sent you?” 
 
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During my class at the Defense Language Institute, a student asked another  
student why she chose the Air Force over the Navy.  
 
“Simple,” said Air Force. “Whatever goes up must come down. But whatever  
goes down doesn’t necessarily have to come up.” 
 
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While in Kuwait, shortly before we deployed to Iraq, a major general told  
our meeting that we should expect to cross “into Iraq in less than 24  
hours.”  
 
He then opened the floor to questions. 
 
A lieutenant stood up and asked, “Is that 24 hours our time or 24 hours  
their time?” 
 
 



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