Newsletter and jokes 8 August 2019

Hi all 
I was a bit confused last week about when the holiday is... so to clarify, 
today is "protest day" here in the Cape, and tomorrow is the national  
holiday .... which means the new movies open today. 
The biggest release this week is the family-friendly doggie tale "The Art  
of Racing in the Rain," which hasn't opened Stateside yet, so public  
reviews are scarce.  
Aiming for a slightly older age group but on more limited release, is the  
family-angst drama "Her Only Choice," about a woman facing a difficult  
The other mainstream release this week is "Scary Stories to Tell in the  
Dark," which has ALSO not been released stateside and appears to be under 
review embargo on top of that ... so no press reviews yet either.  
Actually I looked ahead a few weeks and there's quite a few upcoming movies 
that are landing here before the USA ... which is rather odd. Perhaps  
they're using us as a test market again. 
The subcontinent has a lot on offer for the next two weeks. Opening today, 
we have the romance "Parey Hut Love" and the legal thriller "Nerkonda 
Paarvai." Tomorrow sees the rom-com "Jabariya Jodi," while next week 
Thursday sees military action thriller "Batla House" and Mars mission drama 
"Mission Mangal". 
On the previews side, there are previews all over all day tomorrow for  
next week's kiddie movie "Playmobil: The Movie." See the previews page and 
remember to book :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Released 8 August 2019 
* The Art of Racing in the Rain (PG7-9) 
* Her Only Choice (PG10-12 S) 
* Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (16 LVHP) 
* Nerkonda Paarvai (Tamil) 
* Parey Hut Love (Urdu)   
Releasing 8 August 2019 
* Jabariya Jodi (Hindi) 
Releasing 15 August 2019 
* Batla House (Hindi) 
* Mission Mangal (Hindi) 
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My father is allergic to cotton.  
He has pills that he can take, but he can’t get them out of the bottle. 
A friend of mine has an adopted son who, at six-foot-one, loves to play  
basketball. The boy was applying to basketball camp, and a section of the  
application called for him to write a brief essay about himself.  
My friend got a lump in his throat as he read his son’s words:  
“Most of all I am thankful that I am adopted...” 
Then my friend got a cold dose of reality as he continued:  
“because my dad is so short.” 
As we pulled into their driveway, my father-in-law was on the phone.  
“Oh, I have to run,” he told the person on the other end.  
“My daughter-in-law and her husband just arrived.” 
My husband was bending over to tie my three-year-old’s shoes.  
That’s when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my husband’s head. 
He gently touched the slightly thinning spot of hair and said in a  
concerned voice, “Daddy, you have a hole in your head. Does it hurt?” 
After a pause, I heard my husband’s murmured reply: “Not physically.” 
Dad is from the old school, where you keep your money under the mattress... 
only he kept his in the underwear drawer.  
One day I bought my dad an unusual personal safe: a can of spray paint with 
a false bottom, so he could keep his money in the workshop.  
Later I asked Mom if he was using it. 
“Oh, yes,” she replied, “he put his money in it the same day.” 
“No burglar would think to look on the work shelf!” I gloated. 
“They won’t have to,” my mom replied.  
“He keeps the paint can in his underwear drawer.” 
I’d like to have a kid, but I’m not sure I’m ready to spend ten years of my 
life constantly asking someone where his shoes are. 
When I bought my new Lexus Sport Coupe, my two sons asked me who would  
inherit it if I met my demise. I pondered the question, then told them if I 
passed away on an even day, the son born on an even day would get it.  
If it happened on an odd day, the one born on the odd day would get it. 
A few weekends later, while river rafting with one of my sons, I was tossed  
out of the boat.  
As I floated in the rapids, I heard my son yelling, “It’s the wrong day!” 

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