Newsletter and jokes 16 August 2019

Hi all 
Pre-Spring is sprung, at least down here in the Cape. 
At the movies this week we have three new mainstream releases, as well as 
the two from the subcontinent mentioned last week that opened yesterday. 
First up is the latest in the "let's remember old music stars" genre, this 
time the featured artist is The Boss Bruce Sprinsteen in Blinded by the  
Light, unexepectedly set in the UK rather than the USA. Reviews from press  
and public have been good. 
That's joined by two other releases which have not been so well received. 
The first of those is aimed at the very young viewers who will probably  
enjoy seeing their toys on the big screen, in Playmobil: The Movie. 
Meanwhile mom can check out the dark deeds in the female-driven crime drama 
The Kitchen, which found more favour with the public than with the press. 
On the previews side, there are a few previews next Wednesday for the  
upcoming Gerard Butler actioner Angel Has Fallen. See the previews page 
and remember to book :-) 
Enjoy :-) 
Released 16 August 2019 
Playmobil: The Movie (3D) PG7-9 V 
Playmobil: The Movie PG7-9 V 
Blinded by the Light 13 LVP 
The Kitchen 16 LSVPD IAT 
Released 15 August 2019 
* Batla House (Hindi) 
* Mission Mangal (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
These are words that joined our vocabulary recently... 
* Chairdrobe (n.): piling clothes on a chair in stead of a wardrobe. 
* Epiphanot (n.): an idea that seems like an amazing insight to the  
conceiver but is in fact pointless, mundane, stupid, or incorrect. 
* Internest (n.): the cocoon of blankets and pillows you gather around  
yourself while spending long periods of time on the Internet. 
* Textpectation (n.): the anticipation felt when waiting for a response to  
a text. 
* Unkeyboardinated (adj.): when you’re unable to type without repeatedly  
making mistakes. 
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? 
There’s no menu — you get what you deserve. 
A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist’s office and declares,  
“Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I  
broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to  
forget that it ever happened!” 
The hypnotherapist shakes his head. “Not again ...” 
A pride of lions, a gaggle of geese … and here’s how we might classify  
these groups: 
* A brat of boys 
* A giggle of girls 
* A stagger of drunks 
* A tedium of accountants 
* A stitch of doctors 
* A whine of losers 
* A jerk of politicians 
Questions on Yahoo that will destroy your faith in humanity: 
* “Can I safely look at a picture of the sun?” 
* “How can I be sure I’m the real mom of my kid?” 
* “How do you get spaghetti stains out of underwear?” 
Karate: the ancient Japanese art of getting people to buy lots of belts. 
While at a convention, Bill, Jim, and Scott shared a hotel suite on the  
75th floor. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to find that  
the hotel elevators were broken and that they’d have to climb all the way  
up to their room. 
“I have a way to break the monotony,” said Bill. “I’ll tell jokes for 25  
flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25, and Scott can tell sad stories 
the rest of the way.” 
As they started walking up, Bill told his first joke. 
At the 26th floor, Jim began to sing. 
At the 51st floor, it was Scott’s turn.  
“I will tell my saddest story first,” he said.  
“Once there was a man who left the room key in the car.” 
How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? 
Only one, but she has to do it while you’re eating dinner. 
I have mixed emotions when I receive Father’s Day gifts.  
I’m glad my children remember me, but I’m disappointed that they actually  
think I dress that way. 

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