Newsletter and jokes 6 September 2019

Hi all 
Spring is sprung (well, if you consider 1 Sep to be the start), which,  
conversely, means that it's Autumn stateside, and that means we switch  
from "Coke and popcorn" mode to "watch fancy people sit around and drink 
tea" mode, in the run-up to the Oscars and Golden Globes. 
So in keeping with that, the first(?) of South Africa's hopefuls is having 
a qualifying one-week run at Cinema Nouveau Rosebank, namely Poppie  
Nongena. Go and give your support ... it's not people sipping tea :-) 
Back to the main-stream releases, headlined of course by It Chapter Two,  
which has had decent reviews overseas. It is however, adults only, and  
also has a rather long runtime. 
The other Hollywood release, After the Wedding, has a lower teen-friendly  
age res, but is aimed more at older women, so might not appeal to the teens. 
Moving back into violent adults-only territory, we have a new rather gritty 
local period piece set back in the late 1950s, Back of the Moon. It will 
be curious to see how this goes down with local audiences. 
Lastly the subcontinent has two offerings, a crime drama in Tamil, and a  
dramedy in Hindi. 
On the previews side, there are previews tomorrow afternoon at select 
venues for the upcoming remake of Fiela se Kind, and then a Girls Night 
Out treat next Thursday at more venues, for the female comedy Hustlers. 
See the previews page and remember to book. 
Enjoy :-) 
Released 6 September 2019 
* It Chapter Two (18 LVPH) 
* It Chapter Two (IMAX) (18 LVPH) 
* It Chapter Two (4DX) (18 LVPH) 
* Back of the Moon (18 LNSVPD SV) 
* After the Wedding (13 LD) 
* Chhichhore  
* Magamuni 
* Poppie Nongena   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (two full HD wallpapers ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Q: Why can’t a woman ask her brother for help? 
A: Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too. 
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. 
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper feeling depressed? 
A: He had low elf-esteem. 
Q: What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? 
A: “Gee, I’ll never part with it!” 
Q: What did the Buddhist say to the pizza guy? 
A: Make me one with everything. 
Q: Did you hear about the giant who threw up? 
A: It’s all over town. 
Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? 
A: Halfway. 
Q: Why are cowboy hats turned up on the sides? 
A: So that three people can fit in the pickup. 
Q: Why were all the ink spots crying? 
A: Their father was in the pen. 
Q: Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? 
A: They always take things literally. 
Q: Why does Santa have three garden plots up at the North Pole? 
A: That way he can hoe, hoe, hoe! 
Q: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? 
A: Dam! 
Q: What do you call a Far Eastern monk who sells reincarnations? 
A: A used karma dealer. 
Q: Did you hear about the cell phones that got married? 
A: The wedding was terrible, but the reception was terrific. 
Q: Why was the maths book sad? 
A: Because it had so many problems. 
Q: What do you call memory loss in parrots? 
A: Polynesia. 
Q: What do you call a woman with a bottle opener in one hand, a knife in  
the other, a pair of scissors under her arm and a corkscrew behind her ear? 
A: Swiss Army Wife. 
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of idiots? 
A: Knock on the door. 
Q: What’s round and bad-tempered? 
A: A vicious circle. 

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