Newsletter and jokes 27 September 2019

Hi all 
The tail end of the spring break and more family-ish fare, kicking off with 
something for the kiddies, in the form of Abominable. The storyline is  
not entirely original but its well-executed and found favour with the press, 
so the little ones will enjoy it. 
Moving up the age ladder a bit, Teen Spirit is a crossover between the  
"A Star is Born" storyline with bits of Cinderella thrown in.  
Then we have two horror stories (in the run up to Halloween). The first 
is another variation on The Ring or Final Destination type idea, a who-dies 
next deathfest based around a Polaroid camera. 
For the adults, we have a more serious dark comedy/ horror which  
surprisingly (for the genre) got good reviews, in the form of Ready or Not. 
Rambo's fourth outing is now also showing in the 4DX variant for the full 
experience, and lastly, there is a doccie on famous opera singer Pavarotti 
on at the Nouveaus-and-similar venues. 
On the previews side, there are handful of previews for the award-winning 
and controversial Joker, which opens next week. See the previews page and 
remember to book :-) 
Released 27 September 2019 
* Abominable (3D) (PG V) 
* Abominable (PG V) 
* Teen Spirit (PG10-12 SD) 
* Ready or Not (18 LVDH) 
* Polaroid (13 LVH) 
* Pavarotti (PG7-9 L) 
* Rambo: Last Blood (4DX) (18 LVD)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My six-year-old son was excited about his Halloween costume.  
“I’m going to be the Pope,” he said. 
“You can’t be the Pope,” I said. “You’re not Catholic. You’re Lutheran.” 
He hadn’t thought about that. So he considered his alternatives.  
After a few minutes, he asked, “Is Dracula a Lutheran?” 
After giving it a lot of thought, my son announced that he considered  
Halloween a far better holiday than Easter. 
“Why’s that?” my husband asked. 
“Because,” he said, “on Halloween, I’m given candy. Easter, I have to  
find it.” 
My high-school English teacher was well known for being a fair, but hard,  
grader. One day I received a B minus on a theme paper. In hopes of  
bettering my grade and in the spirit of the Valentine season, I sent her an 
extravagant heart-shaped box of chocolates with the pre-printed  
inscription: “BE MINE.” 
The following day, I received in return a valentine from the teacher.  
It read: “Thank you, but it’s still BE MINE-US.” 
In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate.  
So for Valentine’s Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it into  
school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the  
same box of candy. 
“What happened?” I asked. 
“Well, I thought about it for a long time,” he said between chews. 
“And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls.” 
En route to church to make his first confession, my nervous seven-year-old  
grandson asked me what he could expect. 
“Confession is where you tell all the bad things you’ve done to the  
priest,” I told him. 
He looked relieved. “Good. I haven’t done anything bad to the priest.” 
In the British documentary 56 Up, a man shared that he had earned a law  
degree at Oxford. Then, in his thick English accent, he proudly proclaimed  
that he was now a “barrister.” 
My thirteen-year-old daughter wasn’t impressed. “So,” she said, “he spent  
all that effort getting an Oxford law degree, and now he works at  

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