Newsletter and jokes 25 October 2019

Hi all 
It's Diwali this weekend, so there's a bumper selection for the Indian  
market this week. 
As far as the Hollywood releases go, it's exam time (or will be shortly) so 
nothing new for the little ones. The lowest age-rating is actually for the  
new Woody Allen film on the art circuit, A Rainy Day in New York, which is 
unfortunately not going to be remembered as his best film. 
Then we have two action thrillers, both sequels. First is the third  
installment in the "Extractors" series starring an ageing Sly, this one is 
Escape Plan: The Extractors. That's joined by a rather belated sequel to 
2009's Zombieland, creatively entitled Zombieland: Double Tap which offers 
more of the same in the run-up to Halloween. 
The local industry is rolling out two very different titles, the first and 
on wide release is the comedy Blessers, which takes a look at the global 
"blessing" phenomenon which is creating issues worldwide as young students 
desperately try to finance their studies. On the flip side, a rather  
curious film Salvation, which merges a faith-based message with the gritty 
side of life.  
Lastly as mentioned, the subcontinent has plenty in both Hindi and Tamil: 
the action comedy Housefull 4, sports drama Bigil, dramedy Made in China,  
and female biopic Saand Ki Aankh. 
With Halloween next Thursday, there are previews/premieres for two titles 
in keeping with the theme, firstly Countdown, and also Doctor Sleep, which 
is part of The Shining franchise. And (surprise!), you can also catch the  
40th anniversary of the classic sci-fi horror Alien at selected venues,  
all three titles are on Thursday evening. 
On Saturday, the kiddies can catch the preview of Marnie's World, showing 
during the daytime slots. 
See the previews page and remember to book. 
Also on circuit at the moment is the mountaineering doccie festival, the  
BANFF Tour, at selected venues. Lastly, Killarney has a special screening 
of Romeo & Juliet on Saturday. 
Yes, it's two months to Christmas. 
Released 25 October 2019 
* A Rainy Day in New York (13 LD) 
* Zombieland: Double Tap (18 LVHD) 
* Escape Plan: The Extractors (16 LV) 
* Blessers (18 LSD) 
* Salvation (16 LSVD) 
* Housefull 4 (Hindi) 
* Bigil (Tamil) 
* Made in China (Hindi) 
* Saand Ki Aankh (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD  wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
What did the chef give his wife on Valentine’s Day?  
A hug and a quiche. 
As a dental hygienist, I had a family come in one day for cleanings.  
By the time I was ready for the father, he informed me I had a lot to live  
up to. His six-year-old daughter kept commenting that a “very smart lady”  
was cleaning their teeth today.  
The father said she kept going on about my intelligence until he finally  
had to ask what she was basing her opinion on.  
The little girl replied,  
“I heard people in here call her the Dental High Genius.” 
I overheard my nine-year-old son on the phone with a friend discussing a  
computer simulation game. 
The game involved creating a family, a house for them to live in, and so  
on. My son, an old hand at the game, gave this warning:  
“Whatever you do, don’t get kids. They don’t bring in any money, and all  
they do is eat.” 
Nothing seems to dim my thirteen-year-old son’s sense of humour.  
And he’s certainly not above being the butt of his own joke.  
Shortly after he was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD), he  
threw this at me:  
“Hey Dad—how many ADD children does it take to change a light bulb?” 
“I give up,” I said.  
“Let’s go ride our bikes.” 
The orthodontist and his assistants were removing my ten-year-old son’s  
dental appliance. Because it was cemented to his upper teeth, they had to  
use some pressure to release it.  
When it finally popped out, three of his baby teeth came out as well.  
My boy was horrified when he saw the gaps.  
“Well,” he said to the staff gathered around him, “Who do I see about  
getting dentures?” 
My friend Esther told me about her son’s fifth-grade career day, where the  
children were asked, “Who knows what a psychiatrist does?”  
Esther’s son replied, “That’s someone who asks you to lie down on a couch  
and then blames everything on your mother.” 
I was not thrilled with the idea of letting my clueless thirteen-year-old  
son babysit his younger sisters, even though he begged me to.  
“What about a fire?” I asked, referring to my No. 1 concern.  
“Mom,” he said, rolling his eyes, “I’m a Boy Scout. I know how to start a  
As a dentist, I recently tried out a new chocolate-flavored pumice paste on 
my patients. No one liked it except for a six-year-old boy.  
While I polished his teeth, he continued to smile and lick his lips. “You 
must really like this new flavour,” I said.  
“Yep,” he replied, nodding with satisfaction. “It tastes just like the time 
I dropped my chocolate bar in the sandbox.” 

Xax International logo
 Xax International
 All rights reserved.