Newsletter and jokes 1 November 2019

Hi all 
He said he would be back ... and he is. Ageing Arnie hits the screens 
today around the world in another time-traveling episode of the Terminator 
franchise. It's on the big screens too, but all variants are 2D only, not  
The rest of the lineup is a bit more subdued, in keeping with the time of 
year, being exam season and all that. 
For the little ones, there's a non-Hollywood animated film about a spy cat  
called Marnie's World. This has not had a US release yet. 
For the teens (well, age-wise, if not target-audience wise) we have an  
offbeat musical comedy Fisherman’s Friends, which is on at the Nouveaus 
and similar venues. 
Then we have two adult films on relatively limited release (compared to  
Arnie), the first, City of Lies, takes a look at the murders of Notorious 
B.I.G and Tupac Shakur, while the second, The Wedding Year, is a rom-com  
of sorts, which has also not been released Stateside yet. 
No previews this week, but the BANFF Tour is still on circuit, as well as a 
once-off screening of Don Giovanni at Killarney Mall, and the opera  
Turandot which is on at the Nouveaus and a few similar venues. 
Released 1 November 2019 
Marnie's World (PG7-9 LV) 
Terminator: Dark Fate (16 LV) 
Terminator: Dark Fate (IMAX) (16 LV) 
Terminator: Dark Fate (4DX) (16 LV) 
City of Lies (16 LV) 
The Wedding Year (16 LSD) 
Fisherman’s Friends (13)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Full HD  wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
The night before I was to have major surgery, our nine-year-old son became  
“I’m scared, Mom. What if the doctor makes a mistake?” 
I calmly explained that the doctor had years of experience and mistakes  
were unlikely. 
“But what if he does?” Jeremy persisted. 
“Then he’d be in a lot of trouble,” I gently teased. 
“You mean we could sue him,” Jeremy brightened, “and I could get a new  
My grandson, Carsen, was born with strabismus, an eye disorder.  
At the age of two and a half, he could speak but he was still too young to  
identify letters. The eye doctor therefore presented him with an eye chart  
made up of familiar objects such as a ball, a cat, and so on. 
When the optometrist pointed to a simple drawing of an automobile, Carsen  
turned red with embarrassment and said he didn’t know what it was.  
This was surprising because Carsen was a car fanatic and took pride in  
knowing the makes and models. He also had a large collection of Matchbox  
toy cars. 
The perplexed doctor knew the boy could see the image because he had  
already identified much smaller objects on the chart.  
“I’m sure you know what this is,” he said. 
With a soft stammer, Carsen answered, “Porsche?” 
When my daughter was seven months pregnant with a baby girl, she took my  
four-year-old grandson Filipe with her for an ultrasound.  
She explained that he was going to see his baby sister in mommy’s belly.  
At the doctor’s office, Filipe looked on radiantly while the ultrasound was  
made. When they arrived home, his mother, tired, sat on the sofa. 
Filipe said: “I want to speak to my baby sister.” 
“Speak then,” his mother replied. 
“Okay,” he said. “Open wide.”  
He then called into his mother’s gaping mouth: “Hello, sis!” 
When his two front teeth fell out within days of each other, my  
six-year-old son, Joey, was delighted by a quick and profitable succession  
of visits from the Tooth Fairy.  
However, the novelty of having a wide gap in his smile quickly paled.  
Not long after, while my husband was tucking him into bed, he found two  
coins under Joey’s pillow.  
When he asked what the coins were for, Joey replied firmly,  
“I want my teeth back.” 
We took our children to a restaurant named The Captain’s Table.  
Our eldest wanted to go to the bathroom, but soon returned confused and  
“Couldn’t you find the way?” I asked him. 
“Yes, I could,” he replied on the verge of tears,  
“but I don’t know if I’m a buccaneer or a wench.” 
Friends of ours were just finishing their dinner one late-spring evening  
when suddenly they heard the chimes of the first ice cream truck of the  
Their nine-year-old son jumped up from the table and raced to the front  
door, hollering to his sister: “I’ll go stop the truck. You stay here and  
When my youngest son started school, I took him to the optometrist. He was  
very quiet on the way over, so I asked if anything was worrying him.  
He stoically replied, “I was just wondering if it hurts when they take your  
eyes out to examine them.” 

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