Newsletter and jokes 8 November 2019

Hi all 
As we wind our way post-Halloween through the exam season, there's one 
wide release, one medium release and one very limited release. And nothing 
new for the kiddies. 
The wide release is Doctor Sleep, which picks up where Stephen King's novel  
The Shining (as opposed to the film) ended. This film does not have the  
"artistic disagreements" between author and film that The Shining had. 
Reviews have been generally positive, with the crowds rating it higher than 
the critics. 
The medium release is We Belong Together, which is a variation on the Fatal 
Attraction storyline, and which seems to have been released on TV in the  
Lastly the limited release is the buddy-cop crime drama Black and Blue,  
about corruption in the police force. 
The subcontinent has two offerings this week, the Hindi comedy Bala, and  
the Tamil action thriller Kaithi. 
On the previews side, there are Girls-Night-Out type screenings for the  
relaunched Charlie's Angels series next Wednesday. See the previews page  
and remember to book :-) 
Released 8 November 2019 
* We Belong Together (13 SVD) 
* Doctor Sleep (16 LNVHD) 
* Black and Blue (16 LV) 
* Bala (Hindi) 
* Kaithi (Tamil)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (Cellphone wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
We recently took our four-year-old daughter along to a doctor’s appointment 
for my wife, who is expecting. The doctor placed a monitor on my wife’s  
stomach, and we could hear the sound of a heartbeat. 
“That’s your little brother,” I told our daughter. 
“I know!” she replied. “Those are his footsteps.” 
Parents are justifiably upset when their children don’t get into the  
college of their choice. As an admissions counselor for a state university,  
I took a call from an irate mother demanding to know why her daughter had  
been turned down.  
Avoiding any mention of the report card full of Ds, I explained that her  
daughter just wasn’t as “competitive” as the admitted class.  
“Why doesn’t she try another school for a year and then transfer?” I  
“Another school!” exclaimed Mom. “Have you seen her grades?” 
Question on second-grade math quiz:  
“Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice.  
Emily drank more. Explain.” 
My grandson’s answer: “She was more thirsty.” 
“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” the teacher instructed her  
second-grade student. 
“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant,” he answered. 
“Um . . . do you know what pregnant means?” 
“Yes,” said the boy. “It means carrying a child.” 
The morning he began kindergarten, I told my son about the great adventure  
that awaited him.  
“You’re going to learn so many things,” I said,  
“like how to read and write!” 
When I picked him up from school later, I asked how it went. 
“Well,” he said, “I still can’t read or write.” 
Teacher: What is an evangelist? 
Student: Someone who plays the evangelo. 
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day. 
Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new 
substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against 
a locker.  
I heard him mutter, “How did you get yourself into this?” 
Knowing he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral  
support. “Are you okay?” I asked. “Can I help?” 
He lifted his head and replied, “I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out 
of his locker.” 
Teacher: Why can’t freshwater fish live in salt water? 
Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure. 

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