Newsletter and jokes 15 November 2019

Hi all 
Halfway through November, almost December and holiday time (for the lucky). 
For the little ones, there's a new European (as opposed to American)  
animated film about a littie bird. It also released overseas as Manou the  
Swift and Birds of a Feather. 
The big release this week, to tempt the teens away from their books, is 
the reboot of the Charlie's Angels franchise, with new ladies and a global 
reach. It's also showing on the big screens, but is 2D only. 
On the art circuit, there is a well-rated crime drama scripted, starring 
and directed by Edward Norton, Motherless Brooklyn. 
The last mainstream release is a horror thriller about technology gone 
bad, Countdown. 
Lastly Bollywood has an action romance called Marjaavaan. 
No previews this week. 
Released 15 November 2019 
* Swift (PG V) 
* Charlie’s Angels (13 LV) 
* Charlie’s Angels (IMAX) (13 LV) 
* Charlie’s Angels (4DX) (13 LV) 
* Motherless Brooklyn (16 LVDP SV) 
* Countdown 16 (LVHD SV IAT) 
* Marjaavaan (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
Seen outside a professor’s door at Georgetown College:  
“Psychology 376: Dying, Grieving, and Coping. Take for your major or minor,  
or as a fun elective.” 
Driving my car one afternoon, I rolled through a stop sign.  
I was pulled over by a police officer, who recognized me as his former  
English teacher. 
“Mrs. Brown,” he said, “those stop signs are periods, not commas.” 
When my summer teaching post in the Czech Republic came to an end, I told  
my students my next teaching destination would be in Australia,  
“the land down under.”  
On my final day, they presented me with a card.  
The carefully worded note read,  
“Good luck, and happy journey to the underworld.” 
A police car with flashing lights pulled me over near the high school where 
I teach. As the officer asked for my license and registration, my students  
began to drive past.  
Some honked their horns, others hooted, and still others stopped to  
admonish me for speeding. 
Finally the officer asked me if I was a teacher at the school, and I told  
him I was. 
“I think you’ve paid your debt to society,” he concluded with a smile, and  
left without giving me a ticket. 
A student in my math course at Ohlone State College in Fremont, Calif.,  
developed a severe case of tendinitis. Since she couldn’t write, she  
brought a video camera to tape my lectures.  
After three or four classes, I asked her if she found the method  
satisfactory. She said it was working quite well, even better than  
“Actually,” she confessed, “I have another reason for doing this. When I  
told my mother you were a widower, she wanted to see what you look like.” 
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the first word you thought 
My son, a high school senior, went to take a national literacy test 
recently. A sign on the classroom door read,  
“Literacy Testing in Progress: Do Not Distrub!” 
After a day of listening to my eighth graders exchange gossip, I decided to  
quote Mark Twain to them:  
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool  
than to open it and remove all doubt.” 
After considering my words, one of my students asked,  
“What does it mean to remove all doubt?” 
During my eighth-grade sex education class, no one could answer the  
question “What happens to a young woman during puberty?”  
So I rephrased it: “What happens to young women as they mature?” 
One student answered: “They start to carry a purse.” 

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