Newsletter and jokes 6 December 2019

Hi all 
Apparently some people skip right past my breathless-prose-to-die-for and 
go straight to the jokes. Can you believe that? :-) After I slave over a  
hot keyboard for hours composing the intro.... 
Anyway, the movies.... 
Yes, Frozen II has landed... it's having a record-breaking run overseas,  
and is likely to also do very well here, since there is no real competition 
in that market segment until Christmas day when Spies in Disguise opens. 
Saying in holiday/Chrismas mode, we have a "classic" style rom-com which 
has been described as "comfort viewing" ... not the best film in the world, 
but some light entertainment to take your mind off the worlds' problems.  
So go and enjoy Khaleesi in Last Christmas. 
Switching to the adult fare, first up is the highly rated auto-biographical 
film from top director Pedro Almodóvar, with some of his favourite actors  
including Antonio Banderas and Penélope Cruz, in Pain and Glory. 
The last horror film for the year, Haunt, rounds out the mainstream  
line-up. Well, it's the last if you don't count Cats, which has also been 
described as the last horror film of the year. 
Bollywood has two offerings, the period war epic Panipat, and the rom-com  
Pati Patni Aur Woh. 
You can catch Official Secrets as part of the film festival on at Cinema  
Nouveau Rosebank. 
On the arty side, the ballet La Bayadère and the opera Madama Butterfly are 
on at the Nouveaus and Gateway, while the classic The Merry Wives of  
Windsor has a screening at Killarney Mall. 
Enjoy :-) 
Released 29 November 2019 
* Frozen II (3D) (PG V) 
* Frozen II (PG V) 
* Frozen II (3D IMAX) (PG V) 
* Frozen II (4DX) (PG V) 
* Last Christmas (13 LP) 
* Pain and Glory (16 LND) 
* Haunt (18 LVH) 
* Panipat (Hindi) 
* Pati Patni Aur Woh (Hindi)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Cheers, Ian 
My high-school basketball team was scheduled to play in the district  
tournament, and when we got there we were all excited to find our pictures  
and our stats published in the glossy program.  
My friend Brian Bird, a senior who was having a great season, eagerly  
searched for his name. But then he threw the program down in disgust, and I 
figured that there must be some error in his entry. 
Sure enough, his name appeared as “Bird, Brain.” 
My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our  
grandchildren. He had just turned 75 and was feeling a little wistful.  
“You know,” he said to our grandson, Nick, “it’s not easy getting old. I  
guess I’m in the fourth quarter now.” 
“Don’t worry Grandpa,” Nick said cheerily. “Maybe you’ll go into overtime.” 
A five-year-old at my church proudly announced to me that he had scored  
five goals in his last soccer match and that his team had won the game. 
His mother added, “It was close though. The final score was 3-2.” 
My nine-year-old grandson Michael wiped the sweat from his face while  
taking a quick break from his soccer game. The coach ordered him back on  
the field. 
“I’m so tired,” Michael moaned. 
“You’re too young to be that tired,” the coach countered. 
“Well,” Michael persisted, “I’m 63 in dog years.” 
Our high school has lots of spirit, but that didn’t help the football team, 
who had yet to win a game. So when our principal saw some cheerleaders  
sitting in the stands, he asked,  
“Don’t you think you girls should be down there cheering for your team?” 
“I think,” one of them said, “we should be down there playing for them.” 
Lying battered and bruised in hospital, a man explained to his friend,  
“I told my wife that when the rugby is on TV, it would take a team of wild  
horses to drag me away. I still have no idea where she got them.” 
My son had gone to see a soccer match earlier in the day, and I made a  
special effort to avoid hearing the score so I could enjoy the match on TV  
As I settled down to watch it, my son joined me so he could see the goals  
One team scored early on in the game.  
“Right then,” said my son immediately afterwards. “I’m off to bed.” 

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