Newsletter and jokes 24 January 2020

Hi all 
As we head towards the Oscars, we've got another hopeful this week, in the  
form of Bombshell which features Charlize and another incredible makeover. 
The film already has a good collection of wins and nominations under the 
Reverting back to the little ones, there's a new animated film, Arctic 
Justice (which has released under assorted names overseas). It really is 
for the ankle biters, so to speak. 
The big release this week is a rather belated entry in the Bad Boys series, 
said to be their final outing. The film did well Stateside last week and 
has found favour with most of the press, and the public, so it should 
dethrone The Rock from the top of the local box office. It is releasing 
in the big-screen formats too, but note it is 2D only. 
Bollywood has two offerings this week, the first on widish release is 
a dance genre film with geopolitical dimensions, mostly in 2D with some 
venues having the 3D version, and Panga, which is a family drama focused 
around the traditional Indian sport Kabbadi. 
And yes, there are previews... in many places next Wednesday and Thursday,  
depending on venue, for a Girls Night Out preview of Like a Boss. See the  
previews page and remember to book :-) 
New this week 
* Arctic Justice (PG V) 
* Bad Boys for Life (16 LSV) 
* Bad Boys for Life (IMAX) (16 LSV) 
* Bad Boys for Life (4DX) (16 LSV) 
* Bombshell (16 LP SV) 
* Street Dancer 
* Street Dancer (3D) 
* Panga   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Thanks, Ian 
At my granddaughter’s wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been 
married the longest. Since it turned out to be my husband and me, the DJ  
asked us, “What advice would you give to the newly married couple?” 
I said, “The three most important words in a marriage are,  
‘You’re probably right.’ ” 
Everyone then looked expectantly at my husband.  
“She’s probably right,” he said. 
There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason.  
And then there’s me.  
One day I couldn’t stand it any longer.  
“Why don’t you ever bring me flowers?” I asked. 
“What’s the point?” my husband said. “They die after about a week.” 
“So could you,” I shot back, “but I still like having you around.” 
I was leafing through one of my hunting catalogs when I found something  
that made me laugh.  
“Look,” I said to my wife. “What I’ve always wanted: a camouflage toilet  
“Get it,” she said. “Then you’ll have an excuse for when you miss.” 
My granddaughter asked why I called my husband Hon. 
“It’s a term of endearment,” I explained. 
My husband mumbled, “After more than 40 years, it’s a term of endurement.” 
A man rushed to the jewelry counter in the store where I work soon after  
the doors opened one morning and said he needed a pair of diamond earrings.  
I showed him a wide selection, and quickly he picked out a pair. 
When I asked him if he wanted the earrings gift-wrapped, he said,  
“That’d be great. But can you make it quick? I forgot today was my  
anniversary, and my wife thinks I’m taking out the trash.” 
My friend was at the beauty parlor when she overheard another woman rattle  
on to the manicurist about the sad state of her marriage. 
“Things have gotten so bad,” she said, “I think I might ask for a divorce.  
What do you think?” 
“That’s a serious matter,” came the reply. “I think you should consult  
another manicurist.” 
As the music swelled during a recent wedding reception, my hopelessly  
romantic husband squeezed my hand, leaned in, and said,  
“You are better looking than half the women here.” 
You know you’re dating the wrong guy when your friend steals your boyfriend  
and all you can think is, What does she see in him? 
Soon after we were married, my husband, Paul, stopped wearing his wedding band. 
“Why don’t you ever wear your ring?” I asked. 
“It cuts off my circulation,” Paul replied. 
“I know,” I said. “It’s supposed to.” 

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