Newsletter and jokes 31 January 2020

Hi all 
The biggest release this week is the adult female comedy Like a Boss, which 
is appealing more to the masses than the critics. That's followed by two 
very different movies, first is a new non-American animated treat for the  
little kiddies, called Mosley, and then we have the multi-award-winning 
local film Poppie Nongena, which should prove popular for the target  
Then we have the very well-rated crime drama Dark Waters, which is on the  
commercial rather than art circuit, but may be a niche sell due to the  
subject matter. 
Also opening this week is an adaptation of the Henry James novel The Turn  
of the Screw, but somehow the vision and the production didn't quite gell  
and the results have failed to impress either the critics or the public. 
On the art circuit, we have the World War II conscientious objector drama 
A Hidden Life, which has been generally well received overseas. 
And yes, there are previews... for two different markets. Firstly in the  
run-up to the Oscars, you can grab three of the nominations before their 
official release, namely Little Women, Richard Jewell, and A Beautiful Day  
in the Neighborhood. 
Then for the OTHER market, we have premiers on Wednesday and Thursday,  
depending on venue, for the upcoming Harley Quinn film Birds of Prey: And  
the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn. There's quite a bit of  
buzz around this superhero film. 
See the previews page and remember to book :-) 
New this week 
* Mosley PG7-9 V 
* Poppie Nongena 13 LVPD 
* Dark Waters 13 L 
* The Turning 16 LVH 
* A Hidden Life 13 VP 
* Like a Boss 18 LD 
* Jawaani Jaaneman   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Thanks, Ian 
Font jokes... 
Times New Roman and Arial walk into a bar. The barman says  
“Sorry, we don’t serve your type here”. 
A friend’s son was baptised Comic Sans. The vicar used the wrong font. 
What did one font say to the other on the beach? “Serif’s up!” 
I was going to insult someone using paragraph formatting tools.  
It would have been entirely justified. 
My problem with Comic Sans is that it’s just not my type. 
What is a typographer’s favourite chocolate? M & Ms. 
In which font are horoscopes written? Futura. 
I would make a font joke but I’m not bold enough. 
I was asked for advice on a font for a launch campaign.  
I suggested Trebuchet.   [I really don't get that one -- Ed.] 
I’m not overweight, I’m in bold. 
A font meets a friend in Rome and asks “are you a Roman too?”  
“No, but I am an Italic…” 
There is nothing wrong with the tower in Pisa.  
It was just built in italics. 
There was a lot of trouble in the Wild West fonts as they were Sans Sheriff. 
I keep seeing jokes written on the beach. Think it’s the Comic Sands. 
As I was stepping into the shower after an afternoon of yard work, my wife  
walked into the bathroom.  
“What do you think the neighbors would say if I cut the grass dressed like  
this?” I asked. 
Giving me a casual glance, she replied,  
“They’d say I married you for your money.” 
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our  
breath and hope we’ve set aside enough money for our kids’ therapy. 
A man tells his doctor that he’s incapable of doing all the things around  
the house that he used to do. When the examination is over, he says,  
“Okay, Doctor. In plain English—what’s wrong with me?” 
“Well, in plain English,” says the doctor, “you’re just lazy.” 
The man nods. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.” 
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 
When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some  
advice. “The first ten years are the hardest,” she said. 
“How long have you been married?” I asked. 
“Ten years,” she replied. 
As I stripped off my sweatshirt at the breakfast table one warm morning,  
my T-shirt started to come off too. 
My husband let out a low whistle. I took it as a compliment until he said,  
from behind his newspaper, “Can you believe the price of bananas?” 
What to engrave on the inside of my husband-to-be’s wedding ring? 
I turned to my sister and said,  
“I want something that has meaning and will remind him of me.” 
Her suggestion? 
“Put it back on.” 
One evening my daughter, Shayna, wondered:  
“What would happen if Daddy died? Would you get married again?” 
“I don’t think so, honey,” I replied. “It’s hard to imagine loving anyone  
as much as I love Daddy.” 
“What about Daddy?” my son Isaac asked. “Would he get married again?” 
“Well, of course!” Shayna blurted. “He’d need someone to do the laundry.” 

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