Newsletter and jokes 14 February 2020

Hi all 
And a happy Valentine's Day to you ... :-) 
In keeping with the romance in the air, the new offerings this week explore 
love from various angles. But before we get to the mushy stuff, we kick off  
with a new local film Bhai’s Café, built around the "corner café" that is  
so familiar in South Africa, which takes a look at how corporates are  
taking over tradtional neighbourhoods. It does have a sub-plot along the  
lines of You've Got Mail (which itself was an update of an older film  
called The Shop Around the Corner, which was based on an Hungarian play),  
so I guess it provides some rom-com for today. 
Moving up the age ladder a bit, our next release is another local film, 
the Afrikaans romantic drama Vergeet My Nie, a chalk-and-cheese tale about 
the bright lights vs the platteland. 
Switching over to Hollywood, first up is the well-rated Ordinary Love,  
which does share some plot elements from the classic Love Story. Then 
for the adults, another take on love, with crime action thrown in for  
good measure, as a first date goes horribly wrong in Queen & Slim. This  
film has a nice collection of nomimations and awards under the belt. 
The last offering from Hollywood is an attempted reboot of a 1970s TV show, 
but switching the genre to horror. It has not been so well received so far, 
and opens globally this week, so we'll have to see how the new reviews come 
From the subcontinent, more romance in the Hindi Love Aaj Kal, and family 
drama in the Tamil Vaanam Kottattum. 
No previews this week. 
Enjoy :-) 
New this week 
* Bhai’s Café (PG7-9 L) 
* Vergeet My Nie (13 LSD) 
* Ordinary Love (13 NSD) 
* Queen & Slim (16 LNSVPD) 
* Fantasy Island (16 LVHD) 
* Love Aaj Kal (Hindi) 
* Vaanam Kottattum (Tamil)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Thanks, Ian 
I ate a gluten-free, lactose-free, low-carb pizza for dinner tonight.  
(It was a raw tomato.) 
While phoning a friend, my grandmother dialed the wrong number.  
She apologized and tried again, but she got the same number.  
Once more she hung up and redialed—same result. Now Grandma was frustrated. 
“Look,” she told the person on the other end, “I’m going to call my friend 
again. This time, don’t answer her phone!” 
Some sad news from Australia . . . the inventor of the boomerang grenade  
died today. 
A woman walked into my father’s carpet store. She’d just moved out of her  
parents’ home and needed something for her new living-room floor.  
“Do you know how big the room is?” Dad asked. 
“Yes,” she said. “It’s 22 flip-flops long by 18 flip-flops wide.  
And I wear a size 8.” 
My husband was driving home from work when he was pulled over for not  
wearing a seat belt. Two days later—same ticket, same cop. 
“So,” the officer said, “have you learned anything?” 
“Yes, I have,” said my husband.  
“I’ve learned I need to take a different way home from work.” 
At age seventy, my grandfather bought his first riding lawn mower. 
“This thing is great,” he bragged to my brother.  
“It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn.  
It used to take your grandmother two days to do it all!” 
During a home renovation, my grandfather was watching me drive in nails.  
“You hammer like lightning,” he said. 
“Really?” I replied, flattered. 
“You never strike the same place twice.” 
Our son lived at home all four of his undergraduate years.  
He moved out only when he went to grad school and got an apartment.  
The first time my husband and I went to see his new place,  
Matt greeted us, saying, “I’m glad to finally be the host.” 
As we walked in the door, my husband whispered to me,  
“Instead of the parasite.” 
My young son declared, “When I grow up, I’m going to marry you, Mommy.” 
“You can’t marry your own mother,” said his older sister. 
“Then I’ll marry you.” 
“You can’t marry me either.” 
He looked confused, so I explained,  
“You can’t marry someone in your own family.” 
“You mean I have to marry a total stranger?!” he cried. 
Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things. 

Xax International logo
 Xax International
 All rights reserved.