Newsletter and jokes 20 March 2020

Hi all 
I started The Moviesite sometime back in 1996 or 1997... at that point 
it was called Movies for Africa, and was just a subsection on my personal 
web site.  
I started it because I was trying to create a job for a friend who was  
unemployed at the time. That part didn't work out, but the site found 
a market and continued to grow.  
As far as I know, I was the first to show "comparative ratings" from  
various media, long before the likes of Rotten Tomato or MetaCritic even 
The site has provided a decent income of over the years, but it peaked 
in 2013 and has been going down ever since, due to various reasons outside 
my control. 
And now, here we are in 2020, dealing with a once-in-a-century medical  
and economic crisis. 
I've been tracking the coronavirus outbreak since January, and even have an 
analysis site , so am well informed about the situation and the   
potential impact.  
Back in 2008 I was involved in the Peak Oil studies, and much of what we 
looked at then in terms of societal collapse, is now playing out, but  
driven by a virus rather than lack of oil in the ground. But the scenarios 
are similar, as are the worries. 
As of last night, South Africa had 150 confirmed cases. Overseas, they're 
using a multiplier of somewhere between 5 and 20, as a guestimate of how 
many undetected cases there are. Even at 150, our recent daily growth rate 
has been around 30 - 33%, and that growth rate, if sustained, turns 150  
cases into 1 million in a month, and the entire country (well, 62 million)  
a mere two weeks later.  
So you can see why governments around the world are worried, because even  
if only 20% need hospital care, there is no way the hospitals can cope. 
The only way to stop the spread is via lockdowns, but that kills the  
economy, and so governments are very reluctant to do it, until their hand 
is forced, or they get to see the projections, like what happened in the  
UK, and what happened here. And that is why people stockpile, because they 
are one step ahead of the governments and see it coming. 
Already there are severe restrictions on restaurants. California has  
announced a lockdown, and California is the biggest movie market in the  
USA. So it's just a matter of time before (a) the studios announce a freeze 
on new releases, and/or (b) the SA government announces a similar lockdown 
or at least forced closure of cinemas. 
In truth I was expecting that already, but it's likely to arrive in the  
next week or two. Colour me very surprised if it doesn't. 
So the bottom line is that this may be the last update to the site for a 
while. We don't know what the endgame here is, and how long it's going to 
be before life gets back to anything like what it was before. Many  
businesses are not going to survive, and many people are going to die.  
There's no point pretending it won't happen. The other side of this crisis 
may look very different to life as we know it. 
To the people who have supported me by visiting the site over the years, 
a very big thank you. The site will stay up as long as feasible, but I  
don't know what my income stream will be going forward, and if I will be 
able to pay the web hosting etc. 
Hopefully we will see each other online on the other side of this. 
So after that sombre note, the new movies for this week ... a rather small 
line-up, both films are kiddie/family friendly. 
First up is the European animated tale Tabaluga, which I think is actually 
the second in a series, but we didn't see the first one, as far as I know. 
That's joined by the faith-based I Still Believe, which has been described 
as decent even though it is pretty much preaching to the choir. 
The cinemas will be trying to manage numbers, for example by staggering 
showtimes, and due to circumstances as well as load-shedding, may cancel 
shows without notice. So please double-check any published times with the  
venue, especially if you are going to be travelling. For Ster-Kinekor and 
Nu Metro venues you can click on the times to validate the screenings or 
book on their sites. 
You can also check out the new music releases on to help you while away the hours, if we go into   
Cheers, Ian 
New this week 
* Tabaluga (PG V) 
* I Still Believe (PG7-9)   
Forthcoming attractions  
Updated the pic and quote on the home page  
This Week's pinup (full HD wallpaper ...)  
Pick of the Week   
All the previews. Remember to check with the cinema first.  
List of all movies showing  
Same list sorted by Age Restriction  
Top Twenty, Best and Worst Movies by Critical Rating.  
Remember you can support the site by reading the ads... :-) 
Thanks, Ian 
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages. 
The wife was a romantic type, and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. 
One afternoon, the wife decided to send her husband a text.  
She wrote,“If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are crying, send  
me your tears. And if you are sleeping, send me your dreams. I love you.” 
Her husband texted back, “I’m on the toilet, please advise.” 
A market researcher approached me and said, “Can I ask you ten questions?” 
“Go on,” I said.  
“Question number one: Have you ever blacked out?” 
“And finally, question number ten.” 
In the foyer of a church, a young boy was looking at a plaque with the  
names of men and women who had died in various wars.  
He asked the pastor, “Who are these people?”  
The pastor said,  Those are members from our church who died in service.”  
The boy asked, “The early  “Why should that service or the second service?” 
Now and then.... 
My ten-year-old daughter: Can I go to my friend’s house? 
Me: Take your phone and text me every 20 minutes to tell me you’re OK. 
Me, when I was ten: I’m off to the abandoned quarry with my pals. 
Mom: Dinner’s at five. 
To be or not to be a horse rider, that is equestrian. 
Whoever named the ewe really didn’t like female sheep. 
The laminator is a device that sounds a lot more dangerous to baby sheep  
than it actually is. 
Adult or a dolt?  
Actual things grown-ups have had to have explained to them: 
Why a room below sea level on a cruise ship would not have a balcony. 
That there are more than six bones in the human body ... she thought it was  
head, back, arms, and legs. 
In regard to the North and South Poles, that neither is “the one that is  
always hot.” 
That Earth has one  moon. The new moon on the calendar every month  
confused her. 
That Halloween has never and will never fall on Friday the 13th. 
That islands don’t tip over if you put too  much weight on the edge. 
Our booking office had three phones. One day during lunch, it was a  
constant repeat of “May I help you?” or “Will you hold?” 
I guess I got confused because I surprised one man on the other end of the  
line when I answered his call with, “May I hold you?” 
The Outside-the-Box Thinker award goes to the customer who called a travel  
agency asking about legal requirements while traveling in Europe.  
“If I register my car in France and then take it to England, do I have 
to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?” 
Not yet 
Not yet 
Not yet 
Not yet 
Too late. 

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